Oh Bloody Hell...
by Tropical Flavored Yama
Summary: Draco Malfoy is turned into... into... a... a... Oh! I can't say! Let's just say Draco is facing some MAJOR changes! Rated PG13 for slash hints, langauge and the fact a certain girl gets her period for the first time in the middle of it. *points to Draco*
1. This is the Story of a Girl

A/N: MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! I AM HYPER!! Ok, I'm warning you now, RANDOM STUFF WILL HAPPEN! On with the show!

Disclaimer: You honestly think I own Harry Potter? Oh God, the readers are getting stupider by the minute…

A/N (yet again): Do not read if you, in any way, are uncomfortable with menstruation. In other words, don't read if you are grossed out at the thought of me having one girl have her period during the story! Oh and there are slash hints, so if you can't take a joke and don't like slash couples; don't read!!

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Dedicated to Olivia, because she allways helps me come up with story ideas and doesn't pretend like she doesn't know me when I'm hyper. *glares at Luke*

This is the Story of a Girl…

"Damn the Dark Lord," Draco complained looking at his reflection in the mirror. His voice was different, silky, beautiful and soft sounding; definitely not like his normal voice.

"Oh, I don't know Draco. That look is very flattering on you," The mirror responded.

"Look at me! I'm a bloody girl!" He yelled. And indeed he was. His silvery blonde hair was now blonder and fell past his shoulders to his mid-back and his silver eyes were now much bluer than before. "And- and these! They're huge!" He stuttered motioning to his newly developed breasts. His bust line was a stunning 40C. He had also obtained long, gorgeous legs. He would make any guy stare in awe. That was the problem. "All the guys stare at me and my rack!" He said frustrated. "And I have to close my eyes when I get changed!"

"You don't haaaaave, to close your eyes," The mirror pointed out smugly. Draco threw his arms into the air.

"I may be a Malfoy, but I'm not a pervert! I do have _some_ decency about me!" The mirror only laughed at him.

"Okay Draco. Why don't you look at it this way, you can figure out everything about girls and when you turn back into a guy, you'll know everything there is to know and will be a bigger hit than before with the ladies!" The mirror pointed out. Draco sighed.

"I guess your right… Now help me pick out an outfit to wear to Platform 9 ¾."

"I don't know… It's a bit… revealing…" Draco complained checking his reflection once again. He was now wearing a black leather miniskirt, a sparkly silver belt, a jade green strapless tank top and strappy black high healed sandals.

"Ah, but this outfit will surely make Harry fall in love with you," The mirror assured him. Yes that was supposedly the plan. Draco was suppose to seduce Harry into loving him and then bring him to the Dark Lord, and upon his arrival, was to be killed. But even Lord Voldie knew all of his plans allways failed miserably. Draco had his own theories on why he was turned into a girl.

"But we both know that's not going to happen. Anyone who isn't infatuated by him or idols him can plainly see he's gay. I have a theory on why I am a girl though. See I did some eves dropping and research and found out that Tom Riddle was gay when he was alive. Our dear Tommie-kins happens to be none other than Lord Kiss-My-Ass-Cuz-I'm-So-Evil Voldemort. And I've suspected for a while that my father may be bi. I walked in during one of their snog sessions the other day. I think I'm only a girl because Voldemort realized I have a tight ass and wanted to see me as a sexy play boy bunny." Draco stated. The mirror merely blinked at him.

"Rrrrrright… So let me get this straight; your father and the Dark Lord are gay with each other and Voldemort wanted to see you with ass tightly fitted with a mini skirt and wearing a nicely filled tube top." Draco nodded. The mirror started to laugh hysterically. 

"Oh shut up," Draco muttered walking out of the room. He went to the bathroom and decided he should figure out how to use this make-up stuff…

After several hours of experimenting with hundreds of color combinations with make-up both magical and muggle, he walked out of the bathroom looking like he had been using make up all his life. He wore dark purple eye shadow and black mascara. He applied silver glitter on his cheek bones under his eyes and spread some through out his cheeks in place of blush. He also applied glitter anywhere bare skin showed on his chest, making him sparkle beautifully. He wore black lip gloss giving him a gothic appearance. "Perfect," He murmured looking at his entire costume. He looked like the gothic girl in every male Slytherin's dreams. He would sure turn a couple heads when he got to King's Cross.

Draco was walking through King's Cross towards Platform 9 and ¾ when he realized something; he didn't have a name. He couldn't very well walk around calling himself Draco Malfoy looking the way he did. "Hmmm… I gotta think up a new name. Maybe I'll keep my initials. Let's see, I need a girl's name that begins with D. Dorothy? Ew, no that name sucks. Dana, Diana, Danielle, Deborah, Daisy… Hell no! Who the hell would name their kid after a flower, aside from the Parkinson's that is." Draco laughed at the thought of being named Daisy and well, at Pansy in general. "Hmm… Well Ryo means dragon in Japanese… 'Ey! There we go! Draco, Dragon. Dragon, Ryo. It works!" He proclaimed. "Okay, so I'm Ryo. If any one asks, my mom was veela, I took after her. Hey, it's half true," He said shrugging. "Now, a last name… Hmmm… Well, Malfoy means something like 'bad faith' in French… The only thing I can think of that's Japanese and kinda fits is Akuinenn. It means 'evil destiny'. Okay, so it's totally irrelevant, but give me some credit here! I'm doing this off the top of my head!"

"Err… Draco, are you… talking to yourself?" His driver asked dragging Draco's stuff behind him.

"Errr… No! Of course not!" The driver sweatdropped anime style and shook his head mumbling something under his breath. He finally arrived at the barrier between platforms 9 and 10. He took his bags from the driver and walked through, slowly…

"Damn these bags are heavy," Draco muttered. Draco had himself to blame for that. He insisted on packing all him make-up, shoes, and dresses along with more hair styling stuff than usual. He handed his bags to the baggage guy and headed towards the train.

"Well hello there," Some one growled from behind him. He turned around to see one of the annoying Gryffindor boys checking him out. "O kami," he thought looking at the boy, "What was his name again?" He wondered silently. "My name is Seamus Finnigan. What's your name sexy?" "Might as well play into it…" Draco decided silently.

"Ryo Akuinenn, doll. I just moved here from Japan," He purred. Seamus smiled at him seductively.

"Maybe I can show you around sometime."

"Maybe," He purred stroking Seamus' cheek. "Ja matte ne, hentai baka*," He said seductively before turning and boarding the train. He walked to Potter's normal compartment and found him and his gang already in there. 

Hermione lifted her head from her book when she heard the door open expecting it to be Draco. She smiled when she saw a blond girl in the door way but gasped slightly upon seeing her apparel. Harry and Ron looked up and her and goggled, only a little though. Draco looked at the two boys and inwardly grinned noticing they weren't effected too much by his look. "Definitely gay," He thought.

"Hello, can I sit?" Draco started shifting his weight, showing his long legs. Harry nodded. He sat down next to Hermione. "Thank you. I am Ryo Akuinenn. I just moved here," He was about to add 'from Japan' but Hermione interrupted.

"Anata nihongo desu?" She asked him. Draco nodded, visibly surprised at Hermione.

"Hai," He said simply. Hermione smiled and nodded.

"Maa, kon nichiwa Ryo-san. Watashi wa Granger Hermione desu. Nihongo o sukoshi hanashimasu," She smiled at Ryo. "Nihon ni ikitati." Draco nodded.

"Hai. It is a very beautiful place Hermione." Draco was very lucky he had learned Japanese when he visited some family there for a few summers. Otherwise he never would have understood Hermione's rambling. She obviously wasn't very fluent. But she did fairly well. She had asked if he was Japanese, the name musta given it away. Then she said hello and introduced herself and told him she spoke a little Japanese. She said she wanted to go to Japan. And he simply answered yes to all of this, not wanting to talk to her in Japanese for the entire train ride, not that she knew enough to keep up a decent conversation anyway, he assumed. "How did you know I was Japanese, 'Moine. Because I certainly don't look it, was it my name?" She blushed.

"Well, I err… Overheard your conversation with Seamus. Hentai baka*, 'ey?" She said giggling. Draco nodded and decided he should act like her, so he giggled as well.

"Hai! Hentai, ecchi** baka!" Hermione giggled even more upon hearing this.

"Oh I don't know, I think he's pretty kawaii***!" She answered seriously before dissolving into giggles again. She's a lot nicer when she laughs. And her giggles are much better than Pansy's. Harry looked at them as if trying to figure out what was so funny. Ron rolled his eyes.

"Ahem," Harry interrupted. Hermione stopped giggling for the most part.

"Oh, right. Ryo this is Ron," She said motioning to the redhead, "And that's the fam-"

"Harry." Draco smiled knowingly.

"Pleased to meet you Mr. Potter." Harry groaned. Draco smiled cunningly, "Do you not like fame, Harry?" He shook his head. Draco smirked silently. "Oh. Sorry." He said faking innocence.

"'Sokay," Harry told him. Ron and Harry broke into a quidditch discussion, which Draco followed intently and Hermione surprisingly put away her book and took out a journal of some sort out instead. Draco made note to inquire about that later. About three quarters into the train ride Ron realized something.

"Hey! I wonder where that git Malfoy is? He hasn't bothered us all day! Not that I'm complaining, but-"

"You mean Draco Malfoy?" Draco spoke up. Ron nodded.

"You know him?"

"Yes, his family and mine are close. And he's not comin this year."

"Why?" Ron asked.

"He um… He, uh… switched schools," Draco attempted to lie but knew he was failing miserably.

"Really?" Hermione questioned taking her eyes off whatever she was working on. "What school is he going to now?"

"Well, you see he's uh, going to my school in Japan and I am, um, here in his place for the year!" He offered praying she took the bait.

"Oh, a foreign exchange program. I see." Draco let out a huge sigh of relief glad Hermione had heard of such a thing before, must be some muggle program. Shortly after this conversation they arrived at the Hogwarts station. Draco threw on a robe and zipped it up. He realized his robes still had the Syltherin crest in the corner and quickly magiced it away before anyone noticed. Draco sighed wondering what this year was going to be like, and then it hit him. He was going to have to explain to Dumbledore why he was there and be re-sorted. He inwardly groaned and dragged his feet to the carriages. 

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hentai baka*= perverted idiot

hentai, eechi baka**= perverted, pervert idiot

kawaii***= cute

A/N: Ok! I'll have another chapter up soon, review if you like it! Please? Pretty please? *puppy dogs eyes* Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease?


	2. Er Um Yeah

A/N: MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! I AM HYPER!! I AM ALLWAYS HYPER, UNLESS I'M NOT!! So! I'm glad I didn't scare you away…(yet…) Well, I will thank my loverly reviewers at the end of the chapter, because it's fun to talk to the reviewers! 

Disclaimer: You honestly think I own Harry Potter? Oh God, the readers are getting stupider by the minute…

A/N (yup, another one): OMG! 8 reviews in less than 24 hours! How could I not type up another chapter after response that quick! I know I said I'd address the reviewers until the end, but WildfireFriendship had me going crazy and double checking my sources. I will say this now, I research all the names I put in the story, as well as any information I put in the story. And I went back and double checked what Ryo meant. My sources (www.popularbabynames.com), do indeed say that it means Dragon. But thank you for questioning my claims. I appreciate it. ^_^

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Dedicated to Kat (aka Olivia), because she allways helps me come up with story ideas and doesn't pretend like she doesn't know me when I'm hyper. *glares at Harry (aka Luke)*

Errr…. Um…Yeah….

Draco sat in silence during the drive up to Hogwarts. He noticed that Ron kept looking at Harry when her thought no one was looking. "Hmmm… Interesting," Draco thought. They arrived at the castle not to long afterwards and the students shuffled inside. Draco was thinking about how he was going to pull this off when a voice interrupted his thoughts. 

"Ryo? You should go to talk to the headmaster, Professor Dumbledore." He snapped to attention and saw Hermione not to far away from his face, close enough to kiss him. Draco blushed at how close she was.

"Err.. Right… Thank you." He said before hurrying off to find Dumbledore. "Excuse me Professor," He said politely. Dumbledore turned around to face him. He smiled at her.

"Hello Miss. Can I help you, you look unfamiliar and too old to be a first year," He asked her smiling awkwardly. Draco took a deep breath and explained.

"I got a letter," He said plainly showing him his letter. Dumbledore took the letter and examined it, glancing up at Draco every so often.

"This is Mister Malfoy's letter."

"I know sir." Dumbledore raised an eyebrow signaling for him to continue. "You see, my family and I are good friends of the Malfoys and well, my school was hosting this exchange program. Lucius, er, Mister Malfoy insisted that Draco take part in it, saying it would be a good experience for him since he needs to brush up on his Japanese and oriental magic skills." Dumbledore looked at her curiously. "I'm from Japan. My mother is veela, I take after her." He nodded. "Mister Malfoy said everything should be fine and I should speak to you." Dumbledore nodded again.

"Of course it's fine, I am a strong supporter of foreign school exchange programs. We'll have you sorted then, Miss…"

"Ryo Akuinnen."

"Miss Ryo Akuinnen." 

Draco was about to be resorted. He was nervous. What house would he be put in? He could only pray he was put with the Golden Girls. Draco grinned, he liked that. The Golden Girls, Hermione, Ron, and Harry. He slowly walked up to the hat.

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A/N: Sorry! I know I'm evil, that was barely two pages long! But I want you all to interact and vote on which house he should be put in. Place your vote either in your review or by email. Please? I wanna try this reader interaction deal, that and I have no clue which house to put him in! Vote, please? Or I'll put him in Hufflepuff! 

Draco: *sweatdrops* No! No! Not that!

*evil grin* Guess you have to vote now, I'm scaring Draco…

lilyengraved- Yay! My first reviewer! Since you reviewed first you have the opportunity to be in the fic! I'll put you as one of the newly sorted first years! Only if you want though. *smiles* I'm glad you like the Japanese! That's soooooo cool! I can't believe you lived there! Unfortunately, I don't live in Japan. : ( I know Japanese because I take lessons online. ^_^

Oh! That reminds me! Anyone who wouldn't mind to be randomly inserted into my fic, either email me @ _KendoGirl537@hotmail.com_ or say so in the review. Please include a short description, personality traits, and name (or I'll make it up instead!)

Nysa- I have a feeling it's going to be quite interesting too! I hope you'll keep reading! ^_^

Lisa- This fast enough for ya? I hope you're gonna vote! ^_^

The Brainy Twin- LOL! I know, suspicious 'ey? *raises eyebrow* I wonder…. Hmmm…. Lol, Draco's just very talented. See ya next Chap. ^_^

Manda- Oh yes, that was extremely intelligent! I'm glad you like the first chapter, and since you asked so nicely, here's more! ^_^

mongirl- Awe! Thank you! I'm glad you like my plot line! ^_^

mongirl- Awe! Thank you! I'm glad you like my plot line! ^_^

(lol, your review was sent twice ^_-)

WildfireFriendship- Thank you for voicing that. I'm sorry if I embarrassed you, but I did really appreciate you saying something because even authors make mistakes. As for pairing him up with one of the guys, hmmmmmm… maybe I'll let you all vote on that. ^_^

**Speaking of voting!**

Go vote! And remember, anyone who leaves their email address in a review gets email notifications when I update. And if you review, you get listed like all those great people! So what are you waiting for? Review!


	3. Sorted into !

A/N: Wow… That's all I can say! 46 reviews?! In about 5 days! Wow! I was running around screaming, "I GOT REVIEWS!! I GOT REVIEWS!!!" My sisters thought I was crazy, and my best friend was jealous that I got so many reviews on only 2 chapters. I was also amazed at how many of you know Japanese. I swear, about 48% of you seem to know Japanese. I was like, "Since when do Harry Potter fans know Japanese?" Lol, I serious thought I was like the only one. Anyways, thanks to the people who have been pointing out my errors in my Japanese use. I'm sorry, but I will not change her name. The site I found her name on says it means Dragon. I do appreciate everyone adding what they know to prove me wrong, but popularbabynames.com says it means Dragon, and I'm sticking to my guns. Also Sato, thank you for pointing out all my Japanese grammar mistakes, I'm sorry! I'm not Japanese! I take lessons online! I don't know much! I'm sorry for screwing up the convo! I'm going to change some of it!

Disclaimer: You honestly think I own Harry Potter? Oh God, the readers are getting stupider by the minute…

A/N (yup, another one): OMG! I JUST FOUND OUT AWESOME NEWS! MY BEST FRIEND'S OLDER SISTER IS PREGNANT! OMG! CONGRATULATIONS KINGA!! MY WHOLE FAMILY IS HAPPY FOR YOU! And they all wanna go to the baby shower. *sweatdrop* Oh boy… My sisters are nut cases…

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Dedicated to Kat (aka Olivia), because she allways helps me come up with story ideas and doesn't pretend like she doesn't know me when I'm hyper. *glares at Harry (aka Luke)*

Sorted into…. ?!

Draco fidgeted nervously awaiting his re-sorting. He wanted to stay in Slytherin, he hoped he got resorted there. Professor McGonagal walked in with the new batch of first years. Professor Dumbledore whispered something into her ear. She looked at Draco and nodded. "Come Ms. Akuinnen. Please join your classmates who are to be sorted," She instructed. Draco stepped into the crowd of first years. McGonagal brought out the three legged stool and placed it in front of the students, on an elevated platform. She then placed the old, tattered wizard's hat on top of it. The first years looked at her like she was mad. Draco heard someone mutter, "You think with all that money they could afford a new hat." He snickered as the whispers shut up when the hat sprung to life, surprising the first years. It began to sing it's sorting song of the year.

"I'm the hat. I'm the hat. Into which house you'll go, I'm the only one who knows. I'm the hat. I'm the hat. I'm the hat. I know everything inside, there is nothing you can hide. I'm the hat. 

I'm the hat. I'm the hat. I'm the hat. I'm the hat. I'm the hat. I'm the hat. I'm the hat. I'm the hat. I'm the hat. Sorting Haaaaaaaaaaaat!" It stopped singing and spoke the next part.

"Now these are the houses you can be sorted into. Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Slytherin. First you need to have your name called, put me on and then be sorted! Hear your name, put me on, and be sorted! Hear your name, put me on, and be sorted!" It stopped talking and McGonagal stared at the hat blankly and mumbles something about not letting it watch Nick Jr. anymore. Draco blinked confused, but shrugged it off. McGonagal opened up the parchment and read off the first name. Draco didn't pay too much attention to the sorting but caught names here and there.

"Bloom, Lydia." Lydia had shoulder length silverish, blonde hair similar to Draco's hair as a boy. She was an average height and weight and had an olive complexion. Her green eyes danced laughingly as she sat down and had the hat put atop her head. "Gryffindor!" The hat boomed, followed by excessive cheering from the Gryffindors. She smiled brightly, showing her beautiful braces.

"Carmichael, Bianca." A girl with medium length black hair giggled as she walked up to the stool. She was fairly tall with a pretty average body. She had dimples and fluffy cheeks. "Ravenclaw!" The hat boomed. She beamed stepping down from the platform and joining the rest of the Ravenclaws at their table. 

"Clark, Madison." Madison emerged from the crowd, she wasn't tall, nor short, she was an average height. She had long brown hair and soft brown eyes. She smiled sweetly sitting on the stool. The sorting hat was placed on her head, "Gryffindor!" She smiled and sat down at her new house table. Draco got bored and zoned out shortly.

"Greene, Adam." A small boy with bleached blonde hair walked up to the stool. Draco didn't get his hair styling choice but ignored it thinking it must be a muggle thing. His brown eyes were scared. "Definitely Gryffindor!" He nodded knowingly. He must have known he'd be put there. He sat down next to Ginny. Draco zoned out again for a while.

"Lexington, Claire." A small girl with normal sized glasses walked up to the stool. Her bright blues eyes reflected nervousness. Her short, chin length, blonde hair looked slightly tangled and out of place. She brushed her bangs out of her eyes before sitting down. The hat took a moment to decide where to put her. "All right, Hufflepuff!" She smiled nervously and joined her house mates. All of a sudden, a girl started to laugh, at random. All the students looked at her. The girl next to her mumbled something about how she should not be allowed to drink coffee.

"Er… McGregor, Manda." The girl who was laughing at nothing, started towards the stool. She appeared to be bit of a spaz. She had blonde hair and her eyes were green, then blue, and then yellow, like they couldn't make up their mind so changed every so often. The whole student body stared at this mad women as the hat was put on her head, probably all praying she wouldn't be put into their house. "Slytherin!" The Slytherin's groaned as the rest of house sighed happily. She glared at the other houses, shutting them up and bounced over to the Slytherin table. McGonagal shook her head a little before continuing.

"McHale, Jake." Jake had dirty blonde hair that was spiked up in the front. He wore glasses and was laughing with a few other first years, one girl and two boys. Apparently McGonagle knew who he was already. "Mr. McHale!" "Sorry," He apologized sitting down fiddling with a stylish rope and shell necklace. He waved to his friends, earning him a giggle from the girl, and smirking laughter from the guys as well as another scolding from Professor McGonagal. The hat was placed on his head and the hat boomed out instantly, "Hufflepuff!" He smiled genuinely and walked over to his house table.

"Miller, Kattrina." She bounced up to the platform annoyingly. Surprisingly, she reminded Draco strongly of a brown haired Ginny. She had green, blue eyes and long bangs that framed her face. Her hair was slightly longer than shoulder length. She sat down excitedly. She looked like she was a cheerleader before she came to Hogwarts. "Hufflepuff!" She jumped up. "All right!" She cheered joining her group and sitting down next to Jake. The laughed but quieted when the next name was called.

"O'Keefe, Kevin." One of the boys who had been laughing with Jake earlier walked up to the stool. Draco heard the girl next to him, who had also been talking to Jake, say, "Good Luck." Kevin had smirking green eyes, freckles, a very nice build, and red hair that could only be matched by the Weaslys. Draco could see many of the girls staring at him dreamily. Draco rolled his eyes. "Ravenclaw!" Draco heard the Ravenclaw girls scream with joy. Kevin flashed the girl who had wished him good luck a smile, winking and giving her a thumbs up. All the girls angrily glared looking for this girl he had winked at. 

"Ozark, Megan." Megan was the girl who was talking to Jake. She was tall with deep brown hair that reached down past her mid-back. She also had red highlights. Not bright red, but a natural looking shade or red, like burgundy. She smiled brightly as she sat on the chair. The hat took longer on her. "Hmmmm… I see…. All right… Best off in Ravenclaw!" She beamed and elegantly left the platform, rushing into Kevin's arms. He kissed her forehead. All the girls groaned angrily upon seeing Kevin was taken.

"Silver, Alexander." A boy that was about 5 foot 8 inches tall walked to the stool. He was the last boy talking to Jake. He had dark blonde hair that was tipped with white-blonde which was spiked up. He was very muscular and apparently very cute (at least that's what the girls had all said) and part veela. Draco could tell that much, since he himself was veela. Draco could see all the girls who had been mourning over the loss of Kevin were now beaming at the prospect of Alex. He presented himself with a very cocky attitude. The hat barely even touched his hair when it yelled, "Slytherin!" Draco focused on him for the rest of the ceremony. The boy was cocky, arrogant, sarcastic, rude, and quite popular with the girls. Draco didn't realize it, but Alex was just like him.

"Akuinnen, Ryo." Professor McGonagal called after 'Zion, Ashley.' Ashley got sorted into Ravenclaw and almost identical to Lexington, Claire. She too had short blonde hair and bangs. Although her hair was more presentable then Claire's was. She held her glasses in her hand, not wanting to wear them until she had too. 

Draco walked up to the hat. His heart was pounding in his chest. Why was he so nervous? He's been sorted before, he wasn't nervous then so why was he so nervous now? Could it be the fact that then he knew he'd be in Slytherin, no questions asked but now he wasn't so sure? Would him being a girl affect the hat's decision? Only one way to find out… Draco sat down on the stool, Hermione waved at him giving him a thumbs up. He smiled back and the hat was put on his head. Draco heard it speaking inside his mind, "Malfoy… Draco what are you doing back at the sorting seat? Ahh… I see… He-who-must-not-be-named has changed you into a girl, 'ey? Ah I see… Hmmm… Well you are loyal, loyalty is the mark of a Hufflepuff. What? Not a Hufflepuff? Not loyal?" The sorting hat laughed out loud causing all the students and teaches to look at it curiously. Draco felt himself blush, embarrassed at everyone staring at him. The hat recomposed itself finally and talked to him again. "If you aren't loyal why in God's name are you a girl? Oh, I see. You enjoy cross-dressing, too bad we don't have a house for that." Draco blushed redder. "But you must be brave if you're voluntarily going around as a girl so I'll put you in, Gryffindor!" The hat boomed only the house out loud. Hermione clapped loudly nudging Harry and Ron who started yelling approvingly. Draco sighed. Wait! Why was he so happy? He had just been sorted into Gryffindor! With the golden trio! Oh Damn, this looked like it was going to be a looooong school year…

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A/N: I know, I'm sorry. This chapter was only the sorting of reviewers. *sighs* I'm sorry. I hope you guys all knew which person was suppose to be you, I'll list them:

Lydia Bloom- bloomedbyorli, Bianca Carmichael- bcalimano, Madison Clark- lilyengraven (sorry I had no info and I used the name Megan on my chara…), Claire Lexington- My sister Nicole, Manda McGregor- Manda, Kattrina Miller- My other sister Katie, Megan Ozark- ME! MUHAHAHAHAH!!, Alexander Silver- Kat. 

I don't like this chapter too much, but I promise that I'll get too the good stuff in the next few chapters. Oh my, so many people to thank. I'm sorry that I can't answer each of you individually like I normally do, I've never had this many reviews to a fic! If you have any specific concerns, KendoGirl537@hotmail.com! So the complied list of reviewers is as follows: 

DragonessaSmith, ScorpioArcher, M. Yuy, lisa, Kenaz Astaroth, couch-potato, bloomedbyorli, anonnymoose, Sato Natsumi, mrunmayee, crazyme89, Angii Derr, gothdollie, Manda, katina Arlay, IlIvDrAcOmAlFoY, cajbr12888@aol.com, Me123, totowizofoz, kgirl25, Kari's Kat FairyFlowerKitty, hells, Wildfirefriendship, Kara, shibbydragongirl, bcalimano, Slytherin Kitten, vikie, weaslygurl4, hermioneG89, Sunshine*Roses, Banessia, sparkly-glossy-girl, lilyengraved, and Extremelypowerfuldiety. 

Oh, and I want to explain my name really quickly, because I had been asked about the Yama part. Not it's not bread and chocolate. Yama is a shorten version of the name Yamato, who happens to be one of my favorite anime characters. Originally this account was gonna be used for my lemons, limes, and other citrus stories (if you have no clue what they are, don't worry about it) but Citrus Flavored Yama sounded weird. I personally think lemons and limes look tropical. And I LOVE tropical flavored fruits, so I became Tropical Flavored Yama.

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The final results of the vote stand as the following: 

Slytherin: 1 vote ****

Ravenclaw: 4 votes

Hufflepuff: 10 votes

Gryffindor: 17 votes

And please remember to review!!!


	4. Quidditch Cards and Cartoon Stars!

A/N: Wow! I have so much to say that from now on, my notices will be at the end of the chapter! ^_^ And I apologize now if I insulted Matt, J.D., Chris, or H.D. in this chapter. You all know I love you guys like brothers and don't mean to offend you, I just couldn't really describe you any other way since technically in this story you're not American. Once again, sorry guys! Oh, and to the readers, this chapter may seem like it has no point, but it does. I personally don't find it as funny as some of the chapters, but my mind has been sidetracked with sadness, it seems like nothing good has happened since I put up the last chapter…

Quidditch Cards and Cartoon Stars

Draco walked over to the Gryffindor table and was immediately hugged by an enthusiastic Hermione. "I'm so glad you're in Gryffindor!" She squealed. A girl with long, wavy, brown hair and caramel colored eyes came over to them. 

"Oh Hermione! Is this her? I'm so glad she's with us! I would have died if she was put into Malfoy's house!"

"I know Sarah! It would have been dreadful!" Draco felt himself blush. When Hermione let go of him (Thank god! It was getting hard to breathe!), he sat down between her and Harry. Hermione and Sarah started chattering about what they did over the summer. Something about camping, whatever the hell that was. Draco listened to Harry and Ron's conversation with Neville and Seamus about quidditch. 

"What are you talking about?! H.D. sucks! He couldn't fly his way out of a paper bag!" Argued Ron.

"He does not! He's an awesome keeper!" Seamus shot back.

"I agree with him. Herschell Wallace is pretty good keeper," Draco added. The boys stared at him in shock.

"You watch quidditch?" Ron asked in disbelief. Draco nodded. The boys broke into smiles and started prodding her for opinions on different players.

"Wallace is probably one of the best, if not the best professional Black quidditch players. He plays like his life is riding on defending that goal."

"But Roger 'O Flattery is a much better keeper!"

"No way! H.D. leaves him in the dust!"

"What about Greg Stone?" Neville asked, "What do you think of him?"

"He's amazing! A wonderful seeker! It's a shame America didn't find him until after the world cup. With him and H.D. on the team, they're gonna be tough to beat from now on."

"And don't forget about Chris Lacina! Outstanding beater!" Seamus added beaming that some one agreed with him on the American team. Draco nodded.

"I have all their cards back in my trunk."

"You collect the cards too? Bloody hell! Hermione sure knows how to pick em! You're smart, good looking, and collect quidditch cards too! You're every man's dream!" Ron said triumphantly. Draco blushed. Hermione, who seemed to have heard her name, looked at the boys and then at Draco. 

"You better treat her well or I'll kick all your asses." She said threatening. Draco blinked as Hermione went back to talking with Sarah. Why the hell was she sticking up for him? Draco's listened in on their conversation.

"It was wonderful to be able to see him again!" Sarah noted happily.

"Yeah, I can't believe he made the team!" Hermione added beaming.

"I'm just glad that H.D. still has time for us." Hermione nodded.

"Mhmm! Didn't let fame go to his head yet!" Draco did a double take.

"H.D.?" He managed to ask, "As in H.D. Wallace?" Hermione nodded again while Sarah giggled. Ron choked on his food.

"You know the quidditch player H.D. Wallace! Bloody hell Hermione! Why didn't you tell us! How do you know him?" Ron demanded. Harry snickered slightly at Ron's purple face. Obviously noting that they had met the quidditch player Viktor Krum just the year before.

"Our parents are old friends. We've all gone camping with him for as long as I can remember. Isn't that right Sarah?" Sarah nodded.

"Yup. Megan Ozark knows him too. You know that new Ravenclaw? She's great on a broomstick. Been practicing with H.D. for a while at camp. We of course got some air time too." Harry looked surprised at this. Draco wondered why.

"'Mione, you mean to tell me you actually go flying with a internationally know quidditch superstar?" He asked. Hermione blushed. "And here I was thinking you hated flying." She and Sarah laughed a little. Dumbledore tapped his goblet with his fork. The hall silenced and everyone turned to face him. He cleared his throat.

"I would like to remind you all not to enter the Forbidden Forrest; it's forbidden!" This comment was met by many sarcastic remarks.

"Hence the name," Hermione added in a bored tone.

"And two words, if I may," He paused for a dramatic effect, "Pikapika uchuu." Everyone blinked at him as the entire hall stayed silent and several crickets were heard chirping. The food appeared but many students stared dumbly at their head master. Harry looked to Ron who then looked to Fred and George, who only shrugged and started to put some food onto their plates. Sarah grabbed the dish of corn from the middle of the table and started to dish some onto her own plate, laughing happily.

"D'you think he meant to say 'Pika Pika Chu'?" Sarah asked her eyes alight with amusement.

"You mean like from Pokemon?" Seamus asked ladling some gravy onto his mashed potatoes.

"Yeah," She answered putting the corn back in the middle of the table. "Butter?"

"What? Oh here." Seamus handed her the butter. "I have no clue, maybe he watches it Sunday mornings." He guessed shrugging.

"Sparkle space." Everyone looked at Hermione oddly.

"Pardon?" Harry asked.

"Sparkle space." Hermione repeated. Ron looked at her like she was psychotic, mumbling to Neville that she finally lost it. "Dumbledore said 'sparkle space'. It was Japanese." Draco nodded in agreement.

"Sparkle space. Pikapika uchuu. But what is this about Poke-me-mon? What the heck are you all talking about?" Sarah laughed weirdly, which was normal for her, and Hermione smiled.

"Not 'Poke-me-mon'; Pokemon. It's a muggle television show," Hermione told him scooping potatoes onto the plate in front of her. "Potatoes Ryo?" Draco shook his head.

"Television?" He asked confused.

"A form of muggle entertainment. Can I have the 'tatoes 'Mione." Sarah answered and was passed the dish.

"Roast beef please Ron," Hermione asked.

"So, who else knows H.D. at Hogwarts?" He asked passing her the plate of roast beef.

"A bunch of Ravenclaws," She answered taking the plate.

"Yeah, a ton. Practically the whole group is comprised of 'em." Sarah agreed taking several chicken legs off the main plate. "A few Hufflepuffs too. Like 5. I don't think any Slytherins camp with us…" She bit into her leg, failing to see the glint in Hermione's eye. She continued to eat her chicken when someone grabbed her from behind and jerked her forward, nearly causing Sarah to choke on her food. She also, unfortunately for Neville who was sitting in front of her, had taken a sip from her goblet of pumpkin juice just before, causing her to spray the juice all over poor Neville. She couched, not only trying to remove all the food from her esophagus but also trying to suppress the laugher forming. Hermione and the girl behind Sarah were both already in hysterics. Hermione leaned back and gave her a high five. Draco recognized her as one of the first year girls he had saw earlier. He couldn't recall her sorting at all, so didn't know what her name was. She had curly golden brown hair. The ringlets reached shoulder length, her amber eyes sparkled laughingly, framed by small circular glasses. Sarah spun around and declared in mock anger, "I hate you Christina." Christina laughed harder.

"I hate you too sis." Draco realized Christina must have been Sarah's younger sister. He wondered what house she was in. Calming down a bit Christina instructed Sarah and Hermione. "Hang back when we're let out. Everyone's gonna stay in here for a little bit. Okay?"

"Yeah that's fine."

"Mind if Ryo comes along? I think she'd fit in well with our gang."

"No, I don't mind." Hermione smiled.

"Then be warned that Harry and Ron will most likely follow." Christina smiled.

"I'll forward that to Matt, Renee, and them."

"See you in a bit then." Sarah gave her sister a kiss on the cheek as well as a hug good bye before Christina left. The rest of dinner was pretty uneventful, aside from Fred and George (or was it George and Fred?) up to their usual tricks and Ron continuing to argue about quidditch opinions. Oh, and Ginny talking to the new Gryffies; Lydia, Adam and Madison. She seemed to be warning them about Snape and Filch. Draco looked up to the teachers table and realized something; they didn't have a Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher… That was strange. Moody left after the past year for pretty obvious reasons, so who was the new teacher? Could it possibly be Snape? Dumbledore dismissed the houses after everyone had finished their meal, Draco having his practically shoved down his throat by Hermione, who couldn't bear to see him not eat, and most of the people left. But the large group Christina talked about, stayed as she indicated. Hermione happily rushed over to the group of kids, hugging a tall girl with light brown hair that was pulled back into a pony. She smiled at Hermione, her brown eyes filled with happiness.

"Hey Hermione! Long time no see," She joked pulling back from the embrace.

"I know. It's been like, forever, hunh 'Colie?" She said in a sarcastic tone.

"Yeah, I know." She laughed. "Hey who's your friends? Especially that red head, whoo! He's hot." She joked smiling deviously. Ron blushed as red as his hair at this comment, Draco inwardly smirked. 'Colie' was in their year, he knew because they've had classes together. Draco had to fight the urge to make a comment on how 'It's no wonder you haven't got a girlfriend Weasly, blushing the color of you bloody hair whenever girl compliment you. Sheesh, you are pathetic.' Hermione covered her mouth, no doubt hiding a giggle.

"Hi, I'm Harry," Harry said introducing himself, extending a hand to 'Colie'.

"Potter," She finished taking his hand. "Every one knows who you are. Hermione tells us about all your adventures. They make great stories to tell around the camp fire, but only after the parents have gone to bed. They hate that we talk about Voldemort like he's some made up evil villain. They don't get that the stories are true." Ron cringed at the mention of Voldemort. "I'm Nicole. But all my friends call me Colie."

"And the redhead's Ron." Nicole nodded.

"I hear about him a lot too," Nicole had a devious smile across her face. Hermione hit her shoulder.

"Stop! You're giving them the wrong impression!" Nicole continued to smile deviously. "Ignore her." A blonde hair girl began to laugh from behind her. She walked up to Hermione her blues eyes blazing.

I'm Renee. Nicole is my sister, unfortunately," The blonde hair girl told hem. She looked like she might be a third year.

"Hey!" Nicole said in a mock offended tone.

"And that's my other sister Julie," She said pointing to a seventh year girl with sapphire blue eyes and sandy brown hair. She was the only one with bangs in the family. They all had the Hufflepuff crest embroidered into their robes. Julie nodded.

"Hi. We're the only Hufflepuffs in the group. It's nice to meet you Harry and Ron, and Ryo? Right?" Draco nodded. Hermione, who had been talking to someone, turned around smiling.

"Okay, Ryo, Harry, Ron, I'm going to introduce everyone," She told them. The group of people formed a sort of line so they could see everyone. "You know Christina, Sarah, Renee, Julie and Nicole," She started pointing to each of them as she called their name. "As Julie told you, her, Nicole, and Renee are the only Hufflepuffs. Sarah and myself are the only Gryffindors. So that means the remaining people are Ravenclaws. This is Megan, you probably remember her from the sorting," She continued pointing to tall girl next to Nicole who had brown hair streaked with red highlights. "The boy next to her is Matt." Matt was about as tall as Megan and had dark skin. He had hazelnut colored eyes and black hair. He was talking Megan about something, almost teasing her about something

"So girl, can you talk Black yet?" He asked keeping a serious expression the whole time. Megan looked like she was trying not to laugh.

"Yeah, what's up mah homie?" She said in a totally fake reggae accent. She started laughing and Matt looked like he was having a real hard time not laughing.

"Mmmmm, Girl, you can't speak it so I dun wanna hear it."

"Oh no you didn't! Oh no you didn't!" They both started laughing as well as the two boys next to Matt. Hermione looked at the next two boys carefully, trying to ignore Matt and Megan's comments.

"Hm…. J.D. and Chris right?" The two boys nodded. "Ha! I got it right! The first one is J.D. and the second boy. They're twins, so you might confuse them every now and then. Kinda like we do with Fred and George. But I can tell them apart now! HA!" Hermione looked very pleased with herself, she also looked a bit… scary… The two boys, Chris and J.D. er… I mean J.D. and Chris! They were quite obviously twins, it was near impossible to tell them apart. How Hermione did it, he'd never know. They both had deep coffee brown eyes and dark hair. They, like Matt, were black. Not that it mattered Draco. He wasn't prejudice against people of a different race than himself, including mud-bloods (ever since he found out about his dad at least for the mud-blood part). Next to Chris were two more black girls. "And next to Chris is the second Christina, but we call her Chrissy since we already have a Christina." She had shoulder length hair that was braided into two French braids and glasses that looked pretty dirty, but she didn't seem to care. She had hazel eyes just like Matt. "She's Matt's little sister. The girl next to her is their cousin Lisa." Lisa, like her cousins, had dark skin and light brown eyes. Her hair was long and braided. "And that's everyone!" Hermione smiled at Ryo, Ron, and Harry. "Everyone, as you know from my excellent descriptions," some people snickered jokingly, "Harry Potter and Ron Weasly." Megan, pretended to be beside herself in joy.

"Oh my god! Oh my god! It's Harry Potter!" She shook his hand furiously, "Can I have your autograph? Hermione was right! You have the sexiest green eyes! Oh my god! She wasn't lying when she said you had a perfectly toned body, oh my god! You're just like a sex god!" She squealed. Harry went beat red and the group was beside themselves in laughter.

"Megan stop! You're scaring him!" Sarah protested laughing, so it was very unconvincing. Draco also couldn't help from giggling. Giggling? Oh hell, I'm starting to sound like Lavender! Megan, who was still laughing, started talking to Harry again.

"I, I, Whooo…" She wiped a tear from her eye and took a breath through her nose, "I was only joking you know. But your face! You're expression! Oh, it was priceless!" Megan turned to Draco. "Kon nichiwa Ryo-san. Watashi wa Ozark Meganu desu. Youkoso," She said bowing. Draco bowed as well, not wanting to be rude.

"Arigatougozaimasu Meg-chan. You know Japanese as well?" Megan nodded proudly.

"I took it up along with Hermione. I am very partial to anime, and speaking in tongues is kinda my thing. I know Spanish and Polish as well. And I am a parselmouth on top of that." Draco blinked at her.

"Wow, you sure have a full résumé." She nodded. 

"Yeah, anyways. Where are you from in Japan? And which magic school did you attend there? I know a little about a few of them." Draco was stumped. He thought nervously for an excuse not to answer the question, he didn't expect anyone to ask him the name of the school that actually knew some of the schools there. Luckily for him, he didn't have to answer. Dumbledore walked up to them.

"Hello students. I trust you are all well. And how is your dear friend Herschell doing?" He asked brightly.

"He's doing fine headmaster. He said he might even come visit, if it was all right with you." Megan answered smiling at him.

"It's fine with me Megan. Oh, and the quidditch try outs are in three days, I've heard you're quite a flyer." Megan blushed slightly. "But now, off to bed all of you. Classes start the day after the next. Good night to you all." And with that everyone dispersed off to their common rooms, with hugs and promises of talking in the morning. Draco walked sleepily to the common room, carefully remembering the route, because he'd need to get back here everyday. The stopped when the reached a portrait of a fat lady.

"Password?" She asked.

"Shokora amagaeru." Hermione answered. She smiled as the portrait moved aside letting them enter the Gryffindor common room. She seemed to feel Harry and Ron's confused glances and explained, "Chocolate frog; Japanese." Harry nodded and Ron muttered, "Of course! Why didn't I guess that!" Hermione turned around and glared and they all stepped into the common room. The ceiling was high above them, they were obviously in one of the castle's towers. The entire room was filled with many pieces of red furniture and small work tables. There were several large couches by the fireplace, where a fire was burning brightly. The whole room had filled with warmth that Draco was unused to. As they entered, Professor McGonagal walked over to Hermione.

"Miss Granger, we forgot to inform you that you have become a prefect," She said handing her a shiny, silver, prefect badge.

"What do you mean, 'forgot to inform you'? How can you just forget to tell Hermione that she made the position as a prefect?" Ron asked suspiciously.

"Err…. That is none of your business Mr. Weasly! Now, please, all of you, to your dorms!" The professor yelled angrily. Hermione bid Harry and Ron a goodnight before turning left to the girl dormitories. Sarah said good night to Hermione and Ryo and headed to the sixth year girls dormitory. Hermione pushed open the door to their room. Draco's stuff was set up at the bed closest to the window and wall. Hermione's bed was the only bed next to his. As soon as the door closed, Hermione pulled off her shirt and stood in her bra and skirt looking for her pajamas in her trunk. Draco blushed bright red. Hermione turned to Lavender. 

"Have you seen my new PJs?"

"No, what do they look like?"

"They're green pajama pants and a matching tank top."

"No, sorry, haven't seen them." Hermione then, unfortunately for him, turned towards him, he immediately changes his gaze. She was now looking for her PJs on his side of the room. She sighed and looked through her trunk again. "Oh! Here they are!" Draco couldn't help but look up again, and blushed when he saw Hermione was facing his direction and slipping her arms out of her bra straps. He blushed bright red; Hermione noticed. She laughed slightly. 

"Don't worry Ryo, it's no big deal. I'm used to changing in front of people," She explained pulling on a jade green tank top and then unbuckled her bra, which was now underneath the top and let it fall to the floor. Draco couldn't tear his eyes away from her. She didn't seem to notice and slipped off her shoes. She then unzipped her skirt, letting it fall to the ground as she put on the silky looking light, green pants that were patterned with purple and pink flowers. She then sat on the bed and told him, pulling off her socks, "But if you'd rather, you can get changed in bathroom next door." She never looked up at him as she said this. Damn she looked good. Her could see her beautiful breasts perking up against her shirt, showing their perfect figure. Her no longer bushy, but silkily wavy brown hair fell lightly on her shoulders, stray wisps of hair framing her delicate face. And her gorgeous eyes, which were hiding from him at the moment, were the most beautiful, chocolate-colored eyes he had ever seen. If he were still a man, he'd surely be feeling himself get hard; but he was a woman now, and he felt his stomach do flip flops and found his under wear getting extremely uncomfortable. He quickly grabbed a pair of pajamas from his trunk and rushed off into the bathroom.

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A/N: Wow! I can't believe the response I'm getting! I will no longer post a disclaimer on my chapters, because it should be pretty obvious by now I don't own Harry Potter or his friends. I am also going to have all my author notes at the bottom from now on, because they're easier to ignore this way. And on to the thank you's!

Thank you to the following for reviewing: Banessia, crazyme89, Dak, Ayeka, Miss Magical Girl, bcalimano, Katrina Arlay, Saria Black, Manda, Lisa, K8, sparkly-glossy-girl, Razberry, Moi, Kat, keres, hells, Angii Derr, Snuffles Riddle/Padfoot, Pash Apprentice of Wizardry, Tiffany, IcyFire (that's my favorite line too! ^_^), Atayala, True Locket, Nysa, Kristina D. (there's Hermione's description, according to Draco! And I'm glad you liked the descriptions, I had a few people who didn't like it), Muffy, Black Star, kevsbabygrl5, Gumlick the Rickmaniac, shibbydragongirl (I hope your computer is fixed soon! I love your fic!), totowizofoz, Forever89, Devilish Kurumi, and sierra muffin. Thank you all! I can't believe I have 92 reveiws! I know I won't update until I have over 100 reviews, I'm not sure how many over because 100 is only 8 reviews away! 

Oh! And I won't be taking anymore characters to put in the fic, in case you haven't noticed, the fic is filled with 'em. But if you have ideas for Care of Magical Creatures creatures, please send them! See you all next chapter!

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**And Remember! Leave your email address, and you'll get email notifications when I update!**


	5. Waking Up is Hard to Do!

Waking Up Is Hard To Do!

Draco awoke the next morning when the first beam of light peeped through the window, next to which his bed was placed, pulling him from his dreams of long, silky legs and equally as silky (Lacy too!) black knickers. ("Damn Granger and her black knickers to hell!") He leaped up, fumbling to close his bed curtains, which he never had to bother with before, since the dungeons had no windows. But it was too late, he was already to awake to fall back asleep. He groaned, now sitting fully erect on his bed. He grabbed his wand, which was under his pillow, instinctively with his left hand before switching it over to his 'wand hand'. "Tempus," He whispered waving the wand with his right hand. Gold script came out of the tips of his wand, writing out elegant numbers. Draco groaned again, it was barely even 5:15. He usual slept at least until 7. What a nice way to spend your first day back at Hogwarts; sleep-deprived. Draco opened his curtains, ("Damn you evil light! Die! Die I say!") and slid out of his bed with his wand at hand. "Finite incartarum," He said, waving the wand over his shoulder. Draco mumbled the spell to unlock his trunk as a precaution, in case some one was up, ("Though I seriously doubt any one would be up at this ungodly hour..") they wouldn't be able to get into his stuff. He didn't notice a pair of eyes watching him…

He lifted open the lid to his trunk and took out his new, Gryffindor uniform and robe, as he did, his watch fell out. Laying his clothes on the bed, he bent over and picked up the watch. In that instant, he decided to transfigure the watch into a more feminine looking wristwatch. It took about twenty minutes for him to transfigure the watch, at least half of the time he spent trying to figure out the color scheme and design. It ended up being made of gold with a small round face with small rubies as the numbers. He frowned at the watch; it wasn't that it didn't turn out well; it turned out very nice; he just hated the colors. Making a face, he stated, "Man, Gryffindor colors suck." 

"Amen to that sister," A voice agreed from behind, causing Draco to jump. He spun around to find a pair of warm chocolate eyes staring back at him. 

"Hermione," He breathed startled. She hopped off the spot on her bed where she was sitting and grabbed his wrist. She turned it, examining it. "Her-Hermione?" He said again looking at her oddly, confused at her uh, interesting antics. 

"Nicely done Ryo, very nicely done. The time charm was nice as well. I can't find many faults with either, however I agree with you on this," She said lifting his arm slightly, "The colors do indeed suck. I personally would have gone with a silver watch with a small, round, green face with small crystals as the number points instead of the rubies. But I have to give you that your version does match our uniforms." 

"Slytherin colors," He stated confused, her watch design was composed of Slytherin colors! 

"Yes, they have much better colors. Terrible reputation, but kick ass colors, I guess it all balances out. My only complaint is that Hufflepuff got black." 

"You like Slytherin colors?" He asked in disbelief. She nodded. 

"My top three favorite colors are green, silver, and black. Closely followed by blue. I absolutely despise red, unless it's blood red." Draco just nodded, was his losing it? It sounded like she was ranting, but the mud-blood never rants; right? Draco shrugged off the thought; it's preposterous to even think that Miss. Know-It-All Granger would every do such a mortal sin. ("Mortal sin? Yeah right, that would only be a sin to that stupid prude who wears those gorgeous black knickers… Stop! I got to stop thinking like that! Curse her evil knickers!") 

"Er, sorry for waking you up Hermione." 

"Oh, don't worry about it. I normally wake up at this time everyday anyway." ("Who in their right mind would wake up this early everyday, and why on earth would they do it?!") "I like to take a shower before class to freshen up, but the bathroom is so crowded later on." ("Oh. I've always had my own bathroom…" *frowns*) 

"I see." 

"Would like to take a shower with me?" ("WHAAAAAAA?!" *mental nose-bleed*) Apparently, she noticed his shock. Hermione giggled blushing, making a fist in front of her chest with her left hand, while bringing her right hand to touch her right cheek. "You know what I meant, silly!" (*dryly* "No, I don't. Please, enlighten us all.") "You can use my Suave Ocean Breeze shampoo, conditioner, and body wash. They smell reeeeeeeeeeeeally niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice!" (*mentally smacks his forehead* "DAMN MENTAL IMAGES!!!") 

"A cold shower might be nice…" He thought out loud. She clapped her hands happily. 

"Alright! It's settled then! Grab your things, we can use the Prefect bathroom," She said throwing her trunk open joyously, taking out three bottles of blue-greenish gels and a lime green, mesh, spongie, thingy ("I'm a male pure blood for God sakes! How am I suppose to know what her stupid feminine muggle products are called!") in a clear, see through, plastic carrying case with a blue fabric handle; the blue fabric also lined the edges. Hermione's blue (slightly greenish) Venus razor by Gillett in it's indented location in it's blue and white case, which opened up so it could hold up to four razor blade replacements inside. She also carried a large dispenser of Gillett shaving cream in her carrying bag along with a Clearasil face kit and her green Mentadent toothbrush and Crest Advanced Whitening toothpaste. She then pulled out two shrunken jade towels (one was a bit smaller than the other) from the trunk and a small black bag with mesh siding. Draco gawked. 

"Is that all of it?" 

"What? These?" She asked holding up her bags, "Of course not, I still have my full Avon Cherry Blossom bath kit in my trunk. Along with my complete make-up trunk ("Make-up trunk? How much of that crap does she have?), Healing Garden Lavendertherapy body mist, lotion, and bath gel, Bath and Body Works Moonlight Path accessories similar to those of the Lavendertherapy kit but includes perfume as well, Spirit of the Vine Plum with a Twist of Blackberry body mist, Suave Coconut shampoo and conditioner…" Hermione droned on… 

And on…. 

And on… 

And on… 

"…Skintimate shaving gel in Raspberry and Lavender scents, Secret deodorant in Ambition, Optimism, and Shower Fresh- Oh! That reminds me! I need deodorant," She went searching into her trunk again. Draco took this moment to reflect on how psychotic women got when it came to scented lotions, mists, gels, and all that crap. And apparently he was wrong, Hermione rants. He went into his trunk grabbing his minified case of make-up, his emerald green bath towel (which was also currently small) before groaning for two reasons. The first reason being he called her by her first name in his thoughts! Second of all, I realized that I had left my berry scented Teen Spirit Stick at home. 

"Damn," He cursed aloud. 

"What's wrong?" Hermione asked looking up from her trunk. 

"I left my deodorant at home on the counter in my bathroom." 

"Oh, that's not a problem," She said pulling a deodorant stick out of her trunk. "Here," She said throwing it at him, which he nearly dropped. "I had an extra Ambition anyway." 

"Thanks." She smiled at him. 

"What are friends for?" Draco blinked. Friends? Were he and Hermione friends? Had Draco really made friends and with a muggle born of all people- URGH!!! What is with me? I can't even call her a mud-muggle anymore… GRRRRRR!!!! What is she doing to me?? "Come on, let's go," She said stepping out the door only then to pop her head back in, "But you have to do my make-up when we're done!" She proclaimed, her eyes closed and a playful smile gracing her face. Draco couldn't help but smile back.

"Sure thing, girlfriend!" Where the hell did that come from? Damn Muggle sayings… 

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A/N: Ha! In your face Atalaya! I did finish today like I promised! Wooohooo! I rock! You suck! Lol, just kidding. Anyways! I was really worried there! I said I had to finish this by Wed. so I could have some one BETA it and then post it once I got 120 reviews. Well, the only thing that this had that comes even close to BETA reading was that I sent Atalaya the first half page of this, cuz that's all that was typed up. Then she went and reviewed cuz she knew about the 120 review thing! Well, I got booted off the computer and had to finish it on my Dad's laptop, and then I had problems bringing it back to this computer! Woe is me…

Anyways, I wrote this from like anywhere from 12:00 to 2:00 a.m. the past three days, so just don't even ask! On to thanking the reviewers!

A big thanks to: **Atalaya** for almost substituting as a BETA for the first paragraph and for the COMC creature, Thank you! **Slytherin Kitten** for being my best friend in the world, Thank you! **Saria Black** for enlightening me on the evil, deranged Puffskins, Thank you! And to **J.K. Rowling** for creating these wonderful characters and for not suing me, Thank you!!!

A normal sized thanks too…(lol, j/k):** Mind of a Child, KAOS, ShibbyDragonGirl**-I really hope your computer is fixed soon, the fanfiction world misses your fics!**, Blackstar**-Thank you for being so polite ^_^,** Forever89, **- Love the name, just love the name.,** Mariah- **Oooo! A book? For me? You shouldn't have! ^_-,** Moi, bcalimano**-Sorry 'bout that! It'll become clear which new characters you have to keep an eye on, the rest will just randomly walk by now and then ^_-**, Sparkly-Glossy-Girl, Wormtail's Worst Enemy**-Wow, you really got a point across… Your review submitted itself 10 times! @.@,** Draco'sgal**- No problem Andrea,** Atalaya**- *rolls eyes* You again?? Lol**, akira, Slytherin Kitten**- Too true…**, The_Death_Withheld**- Will do**, Animagus**- I understand, I'm sorry about that too! You'll just have to search for me!, and *sighs* yet again **Atalaya- **Thank her, cuz she's the reason this is up right now!

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IMPORTANT!!!!!!!!

Listed are some fics that I personally enjoyed reading so far. They are still being writen as you read this, please check them out! You won't regret it!

Quarantine by KAOS (Draco/Hermione)

Everything Changes by ShibbyDragonGirl (Draco/Hermione)

Blood of a Slytherin and maybe a little more by SlytherinKitten (Unknown Couple)

Draco Malfoy, The Amazing, Bouncing… Rat? By Sharon Armstrong (Draco/Hermione)

The Switch of Lives by Slytherin Kitten (Draco/Hermione, I think…6_9)

Anything by Cassandra Claire (I haven't the fainest idea of couple)

You may have noticed most are Draco/Hermione's, I've read a lot of good ones lately! But I support tons of pairings!! So be on the look out for more great fics! I will list em occasionally!

See you next Chapter!!!


	6. The Need To Be Naked

A/N: First off, don't ask about the title. Almost all the chapter titles are songs, I unfortunately for you was listening to a song by Amber called "Need To Be Naked" when deciding on a title. Oh and the 'O's in these ( ) in the title are facial expressions. Example: Homework sucks, how dare it keep me from writing! Evil teachers…. *sigh* (-_-;;)

-This message has been brought to you by TFY, who is currently working on chapter 7 and is still BETA-less-

*music starts up* (O_o?) I Feel The Need To Be Naked With You! (O_O!) Take Off My Pants, My Shirt, My Socks, And My Shoes The need to be naked with you…

Draco followed Hermione down the empty corridor. She slowed as the approached Boris the Bewildered, shifting her cosmetics in her arms. How she managed to carry them all and still have an elegant grace about her, her would never know; but then she tripped. "So much for the 'elegant grace' that radiated from her," He thought, not quite awake enough for his brain to process what he was thinking, other wise he would have mentally scolded himself for thinking such a thing. Or so we would all assume. Draco, being half asleep, didn't really pay attention to where Hermione was leading him. Hermione turned a corner and then stopped suddenly, almost causing Draco to run into her. She had stopped at a beautiful painting of a forest near a lake, the stars starting to fade as the horizon gave off a pale red light.

"Good morning everyone," She said cheerfully to the painting in front of her. After she said this, a small breeze shook the trees, ringing like laughter and whispers. 

"Good morning Hermione!" The forest replied. Then five female figures crept out of different sections of the painting, four from the forest and one from the water. The four from the woods must have been forest nymphs, their skin a pale, jade greenish color, their long, silk like hair was forest green, and their bright eyes resembled emeralds, much like some else's, Draco noted, though he couldn't remember who's. One of them, Draco did not know her name at the moment, had small, beautiful roses, placed in her hair on both sides of her head, like hair clips and wore a short, pale pink dress, that appeared to be actually made out of rose pedals. Another one of the nymphs had a wreath of wild flowers atop her head and donned a skirt that looked as if it were a large leaf and a triangle, bikini styled top made out of multicolored wild flower petals. The third wore an elegant dress spun from silver spiders silk, dyed a pale lilac color by purple flowers. She also wore a choker made from the delicate spider's silk, with a flower carved out of amethyst, woven into it around her neck, and had tucked a single purple lily behind her ear. Draco noted her skin was paler than the others, her skin looked only slightly greener than average skin tone and she looked vaguely familiar to Draco. The last nymph, wore a dress entirely out of leaves, the skirt was made of darker leaves than the strapless, top, which was made of bright green leaves. She wore long, handless gloves made of spider's silk, now dyed green. And the one from the water was clearly a water nymph, her skin was a shade of blue somewhere between sky blue and light blue, her hair was long floated around her in the lake. Once she slipped out of the water and onto the shore, it was apparent her hair reached her waist; it was an elegant shade of midnight blue. The water nymph sat facing Draco and Hermione, showing off her bright cerulean eyes, and showing she only wore a skirt made out of sea weeds; her long hair along with the fact she lived in the lake, allowed for her to wear no top. "We have missed you Hermione," The water nymph said smiling.

"Yes," Replied the nymph wearing the rose petals, "Summers are allways lonesome. No one to talk to, no cute boys to flirt with," After this she giggled.

"Well, aren't you going to introduce us?" Asked the nymph in all leaves.

"Why should she? It's not like it's her girlfriend or anything," The nymph with the wild flower crown replied.

"How do you know Hermione hasn't acquired a girlfriend over the summer?" She asked indignantly. Hermione blushed slightly laughing.

"Don't mind them Ryo, they're a bit …different," Hermione told Draco trying to explain their unusual argument.

"Oooooooo! Her name's Ryo!" The nymph in the rose dress squealed. The water nymph was laughing, whether it was at Draco or at the forest nymphs, Draco didn't know. Getting annoyed with not knowing who the hell was talking, Draco interrupted.

"Excuse me. I don't mean to be rude, but can I please know your names?" The giggling stopped.

"Oh, yes. Of course," The nymph in rose petals answered. "My name is Ariella."

"I'm Cordilia," The water nymph added.

"My name is Xylia, but everyone calls me Lia," The girl with the wild flower crown.

"Pleased to meet you Ryo, I am Coraho, nymph of the forest canopy," Answered the one wearing all leaves. ("Makes sense, all leaf dress, canopy…") The last nymph was the one dressed in all purple.

"And I am Sylvia," She answered. Then it hit Draco.

"I KNOW YOU!" He called.

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A/N: Yay! Another chapter over with! Wohooo! Remember to review!

LOL, just kidding. That would be really mean. I actually couldn't think of what to do and stopped here for a while… Oh, and Lia is pronounced Lee-uh, ya know like the way the name Leah is pronounced?

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The nymphs all looked at him funny, well except for Sylvia. She studied him for a moment, her lips curling into a small smile, but it quickly faded, as if it hadn't been there at all. "What are you talking about Ryo? How could you possibly know Sylvia?" Coraho asked curiously.

"I… er…." Draco was at loss of words, he could tell them how he really knew Sylvia, he'd give himself away… Well at least give away the fact he'd traveled through Hogwarts before. See, there's this painting in the Slytherin hallway, that look similar to the one here- it had luscious trees, a sparkling full moon, and twinkling stars- only there was no lake; and it held creatures other than nymphs. It was home to werewolves, demon fairies- which are very difficult to deal with, because they are as beautiful and captivating as fairies, but as dangerous and cunning as demons, a veela or two, and, well, Sylvia. He had spotted her talking to a werewolf, who was in his human form at the time, and whatever she was talking to him about was big; his eyes were lighted in a way that only happens when extremely amused about something. Draco, being who he was, immediately assumed it had something to do with her offering him what all men think about constantly, sex. But he, as usual, was wrong. He heard her talking about some plot she had planned for someone. He decided he liked her, and her Slytherin like ways. She had spotted him, and flashed a dangerous smile before heading off to talk to the Demon Fairies.

"Ryo?" Hermione waved her hand in front of Draco's face, snapping him out of his trance. 

"Wha? I mean, uh, why don't we go take our bath Hermione, the others will be waking soon." Ariella gave him a funny look that clearly said, 'Ryo, it's only about 6 in the morning.' Okay, so he told a lie. Okay, so he told a totally unbelievable lie. So sue him, Sylvia was making him nervous. Hermione looked like she had just learned she had to take up divination again.

"Oh my god you're right! It's already 5 past 6! Oh, spoonerism! Come on Ryo!" She grabbed Draco and dragged him into the bathroom, which was now revealed. Apparently, Hermione had said the password. But Draco being, well Draco, didn't happen to catch it. Hermione set all her 'stuff' down on the side of the **enormous Olympic-sized **bath tub. She then slipped out of her pants, while saying to Draco, "Well, what are you waiting for? Aren't you going to get undressed?" Draco blushed bright red.

"Well, uh, I'll just wait for you to finish up, then I'll take my bath," He explained as she reached for the bottom hem of her green tank top. She put her hands on her hips, which were now only covered in black silk undies, after he said this.

"Don't be silly! We'll take one together."

"Wha- what?" Draco squeaked. Hermione smiled broadly.

"You didn't think that I learned the language and not the culture, did 

you?"

"What?" Draco asked utterly confused. Hermione giggled.

"I said, you didn't think I would learn Japanese without studying the 

culture, did you? I mean, Japan has such an interesting and unique history; 

who wouldn't want to learn it? And their calligraphy, absolutely beautiful!" Draco blinked. What was she babbling about? Oh wait, now Draco remembered. 

While visiting his cousin in Japan, he had his own personal hot spring to bathe in. But the villagers… They had to take public baths, together! 

Draco made a small squeak. She was expecting him to take a bath with her! 

Draco, now more than ever, hated the fact Hermione was a bookworm who had to know everything. What was he going to do? She new about Japanese culture, the ethnicity he was pretending to be, and she knew about public baths, how was he supposed to get himself out of this one? Anyway he looked at it, he 

was screwed.

"Oh, yeah, well I mean, that bath looks really hot and I could really go 

for a cold shower right now…" Draco lied, inching toward the shower stalls. 

Hermione latched herself to his arm.

"But you have to take a bath! Trust me! It's absolutely refreshing!"

"But doesn't the idea of public baths gross you out just a little. I 

mean, sure I might be totally used to it because of my Japanese background, 

but I mean if it's too different for you, I could always just take a shower…" 

Draco hoped his absolute and total lie would make her realize how awkward it would be and let her let him take a shower, alone. Hermione just smiled at 

him.

"No, it doesn't bother me at all," She stated calmly. Draco's jaw 

dropped.

"What? How can it not bother you?" Draco asked astounded. Hermione smiled a bit and wait, oh my god! Was she blushing? No! She couldn't be blushing; it had to be the lighting. No, wait… HA! Her cheeks were tinted red! She brought her hands to her shirt once again, pulling it up half way. Well, she pulled it all the way off, but Draco immediately shut his eyes and only saw her beautiful stomach. He heard a splash and opened his eyes once again in time to see Hermione's head emerge from the water's surface. 

Judging by the black silk panties that lay near his feet, she had also taken 

those off while her had his eyes closed.

"I'm confident in my self," Hermione started, leaving Draco a bit 

confused. "I respect my mind and body, and am comfortable with it. I feel 

that you can only be comfortable in front of others once your comfortable 

with yourself." Oh, she was telling him why it didn't bother her to take a 

bath with him, well more correctly another girl. Could the reason actually 

be Hermione was a lesbian and had the hots for him, no her, no him…. Let's 

just say for Ryo. Draco shuddered slightly. ("That would just not do, if it 

turned out the girl I'd been dreaming of turned out to be lesbian.") "Well, 

get undressed and come on it."

"Oh, Hermione, a bath does sound wonderful and all, but I just don't know…" Hermione swam over to the edge of the pool/bath tub and rested her arms, which were crossed, on the edge. She smiled at him.

"I'd say, judging from the way your acting, you aren't comfortable with your 

body. You should feel good about your body and needn't worry how others 

would judge it. If it makes it any easier for you, I won't look as you get 

in, if you're embarrassed I mean." Not waiting for Draco to respond, she swam to the middle of the pool and faced the opposite direction, treading water to stay afloat. Draco took off these black shorts he had worn to bed that had "CHEER!" written on the butt. He didn't even realize what he had worn until he looked at them. 

"Where the hell did I get these?" He wondered tossing the 'cheer' shorts on the ground. Not looking down, he took off his shirt, which he then looked at since he didn't pay attention to the clothes he threw on the night before. It was a black T-shirt with "Hottie" written in glittery script that was 

yellow at the top that then faded into orange and then into red. He then, 

carefully making sure not to look down, took off his underwear and dropped it onto the floor before jumping into the pool. Hermione, upon hearing Draco's splash, turned around and swam back over to the edge. Draco inched away from her a bit. 

"See, it's not that bad Ryo, is it?" Draco shook his head slightly, making Hermione giggle a bit. It must have been the crimson color that had 

accumulated on Draco's cheeks. She grabbed her Ocean Breeze shampoo and started to wash her hair. Draco stared transfixed as she went under the 

water to clean out the shampoo and then repeat the process with the 

conditioner. He subconsciously started to wash his hair, still watching her 

pick up her green spongie-thingie ("So sue me, I still don't know what 

the hell its called.") and Ocean Spray body wash. She squeezed a liberal 

amount onto her sponge before placing the bottle back on the side of the 

pool. She started to scrub her shoulders and just above her bust line, which 

was still submerged in water. Draco blush beat red, making Hermione giggle even more. Draco turned the other way, quickly rinsing his hair and starting to wash his body. He wanted to get out of there as fast as possible…

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A/N: Hey! Guess what! I actually own something! The lovely portrait I describe is mine! It's copy written as of… right now! There! You can't use it now with out giving me credit. *stick out her tongue* LOL, anyways, I apologize for the delay in the updates. School started back up and since I take all advanced classes in school, I get lots of homework. Well, that and the fact I'm also writing bits of Addicting Obsessions here and there. But now on to the 'Thank Yous'.

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Thank You: HelFireChan-Arigatou!, **f0xyness, Wormtail's worst enemy- **I like ramblings! I do it often!, **Lana, Manda, Lana-** Wow, two reviews, you must really like this, **Eden- **To be honest, the original site I used got torn down, now I use language tape lesson from my library and an Japanese dictionary for words in this fic ^_^, ** -** Like I said before, love the name, here's more for you!, **bcalimano, (AKA Nicole Kemp), Saria Black, shubbydragongirl- **YAY!! Your computer is finally fixeded!, **Sarah, Sana Lupin, Fallen-Angel- **Yes it does!, **KAOS, Pick Magic Marker- **You were still Sparkly-Glossy-Girl when you reviewed… *sighs* They grow up so fast… lol ^_-, **Maria- **Sup girl? I am flattered that you've read my story and even went and got an account name and put me on the favorite author section, that's so cool. See ya at school tommorow!, **Maria- **You again?! Lol, j/k, **Angii Derr- **No, I would not want that to happen! Don't die or I shall perform CPR in attempt to bring you back to life so can continue to read this!

Finally, the must read list:

Holy Potion Gone Wrong! by WeasleyGirl (Hermione/Draco, Ron/Blaise)

Someone In This World by Michelle-and-Kattcy (Original Poetry, written by my ten year old sister and put onto my other account. It's really good, and I'm not just saying that.)

That's it for this update because a) it's about 1 a.m. b)I'm suppose to be in bed and c) I can't remember the name of the other fic I was gonna put on here. And please, at least check out **Someone In This World**, it takes about 15 seconds to read, 10 to review and I know that it makes that girl's day to see that people like her poem. 

Oh, and please, please, pleeeeeeeeeeease:

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REVIEW!!!


	7. Did You Hear The Teacher Scream?

Did You Hear the Teacher Scream?

Draco was mentally banging his head into the wall, over… and over… and over… and over… and over… "Since when did I go gay?!" He thought as he kept banging his head into that mental wall. "I'm acting worse than a Gryffindor! Their guys take their perverted peeks, whenever the chance arrives. And here I am, with a perfect view of one of the best molded bodies I have ever seen, (which just so happens to belong to Hermione Granger) naked! But do I even take a small peek? No! I turn the opposite way completely, so I don't happen to get a view of that nice rack her pajama's showed so nicely…" Draco slapped himself mentally before continuing to bang it on that wall he was picturing in his head. "I got it!" He said loudly. 

"Got what?" Hermione asked from behind him, before appearing at his side.

"Errrrrrr…" Draco blushed, 'Damn…' He thought, 'Now I have to think up something to tell her..' "I was, uh… Well, ya see, before I left for Platform 9 ¾, my friend had told me this riddle and I just got what she meant, that'' all," Draco responded laughing nervously. 

"Oh, I see," She answered. Draco sighed in relief. "So what was the riddle?" Draco cringed slightly.

"Hang on a sec, lemme remember the beginning." Hermione nodded. 'Riddle…' He thought, 'Now I need a riddle… Oh! Got one!' "Okay, I have a green glass door," He explained, making a box with his hands as he said this, carefully keeping his body from his shoulders down in the water, "And only certain things can pass through my green glass door. For example, a pillow can pass through, but a bed cannot. A swimmer, goggles, and a pool can pass through, but water cannot. Knees can pass through, but elbows cannot. Lips cannot pass through, but teeth can. Neither of us could pass through, but Harry could; twice." Hermione looked very pensive, her face etched with determination. 'How did we start talking about riddles, oh, right, I said I got the riddle. What I really got, is why I'm acting like this! It's a fairly simple explanation, see now that I'm a girl and I have these… _parts_ myself, I am uncomfortable towards seeing naked females cuz then I'd see what _I_ currently look like, which is something I'd rather not view. Well, at least while I'm like this…" 

"Oh! I see! It's a very simple solution, I'm surprised it took you so long," Hermione said with an air of snobiness. Draco fumed.

"It didn't take me all that long! I just sidetracked beating of men with a stick yelling 'Back! Back I say!' Oh, and I was also a little sidetracked by all the quidditch talk in our compartment. Speaking of which, what were you doing? I saw you take out a journal or something, whatever you were using, it was sure flying across the page." Hermione blushed slightly.

"Oh, that was nothing."

"It must be something, you're blushing," He pointed out.

"You were blushing when I asked what you got," She counter-pointed. Oh, yeah, that. Game, set, and match. And Hermione is the winner of Round One. 

Draco stood in front of the mirror, surveying himself while he dried his long blonde hair slightly with his emerald towel. He now fully dressed, was wearing his new school uniform, complete with his girlish Oxfords, high knee socks, white blouse, gray over sweater, gold and red striped tie, and pleated gray skirt. Hermione walked over to where he was, clad in only her socks, shoes, skirt, and bra. Draco- now keep in to mind, he did try to stop this behavior- stood transfixed at her bust line, she didn't seem to notice. ("Apparently my theory is crap…") She grabbed her wand and made all of her things levitate over to the vanity. Draco managed to divert his eyes back to the mirror just as she turned to him.

"Why don't you magic your hair dry?" She asked, "It would be fairly quicker," She smiled, "And then you can help me get ready quicker!" He nodded, lifting up his wand, and then muttering a drying curse for his hair. After he was done, he pulled out a brush and easily ran it through his silky hair. Before long, he set that on the vanity next to Hermione's stuff. She still remained shirtless, but now sat in the vanity seat. She appeared to be fixing her hair, which no longer resembled a cat hit with a lawn mower that was then attacked by rabid curlers, Draco noticed subconsciously. It now tamed, to say the least, and swept down her back in elegant waves. Draco, once again, found it took great effort to tear his eyes away from her and over to his make up. He pushed through his lip liners, and glosses, and shadows, and mascara tubes, looking for some make up that would match his new clothes. He decided on a pale, shimmering pink lipstick, named Pink Aurora, this shimmering eye shadow (that was so-pale-pink-it's-practically-white!), a little blush, that was barely even there, and black mascara. And once again, he applied it in a way that you would have though he had been doing this all his life. Hermione looked over at him. 

"Perfect," She commented simply. "Do you have any suggestions for me?" 'Yeah, put a shirt on, your breasts are extremely distracting,' His mind argued. Draco shook his head, trying to erase those thought from his head and concentrate on his task. He opened up Hermione's black make-up bag to see what she gave him to work with. He found very few neutral colors; most of the eye shadow was either smoky black/brownish or different shades of purple or some other dark color. He found navy and black mascara, blush, and dark colored lip sticks, including black! (O_O! That was unexpected…) Draco decided he wanted to go for a bold look on her. He picked out brick red lipstick from her bag, as well as taking out her powder compact and blush. He enchanted some glitter so that it was both scarlet and gold, and reflected either color depending on the lightening. 

He spun Hermione's chair so that he could apply the make up. Then, he started working magic with her hair, both figuratively and literally. After he was done, he spun her round so she could see how she looked. She gasped when she saw what he had done. Her hair was left down, since that seemed to be her preferred way of wearing it, but he had gently curled it. Draco had magically lengthened her bangs so that they were not too much shorter than her hair, falling at least eight inches past her chin, then parted and curled them. He then loosely pulled them back and tied them with two ribbons; one red, the other gold. Hermione's hair shimmered in the light as it caught the glitter spread through out it. He had used her brick red lipstick, which looked perfect on her, and her smoky black/brownish eye shadow. But the mascara Hermione wore was absolutely beautiful, and definitely not hers. Draco had magically changed one of his mascara so it was colored blood red. 

"Ryo… I don't know what to say… This is all amazing!" She said, almost in a whisper. Draco smiled, he was glad she liked it. He seemed to have a career as a beautician lying in his future. She got up and hugged him… still topless. Draco blushed slightly.

"No problem." She let go, and grabbed her white blouse. After pulling it on, she buttoned it up. ("Finally!") Then tied on her Gryffindor tie, and very carefully pulled on her gray over sweater. Now they both stood in front of the full length mirror, side by side. Hermione radiating beauty that seemed to be stored deep within, and Draco giving off true veela beauty. Hermione smiled. "Well, now that we both look devilishly sexy," She giggled a bit, "Where's that stick you were using to beat those men off with?" Draco couldn't help but give a small laugh. 

"Good question. I think it broke while I was beating down Dean. I had to resort to keeping Neville back with a spoon!" Hermione laughed at this, actually, Draco did as well. Their laughter echoed off the high ceiling, and reverberated through out the rooms, and could even be heard by the five women in the painting outside.

Hermione and Draco got to breakfast early. So did, it seemed, all of Hermione's camping friends. Christina was sitting at the Hufflepuff table, with everyone else, reading a book. "Hey Christina, whacha reading?" Hermione asked sitting across from her.

"Oh, just Shauna's new book; 'Perfecting The Dark Arts'. It's a fairly short book compared to other history books, but she really finds ways to make everything in history relate somehow, so it's not as boring and much shorter. It's just suppose to give you a background history of the subject." Hermione nodded, interested in Sarah's book review. Who Shauna was, Draco didn't know, but really didn't feel like asking. He looked around the table, and saw Matt, Chris and J.D. sitting together, listening to some music on Matt's CD player. Since it ran off of batteries, it still worked inside Hogwarts. Nicole -("No! Wait! She said to call her Coli!")- Colie, was laughing with Sarah, explaining the story with lively hand gestures and hysterical accents and impersonations. 

"And then she was like 'Nicole, please trust me a little more. See? I didn't loose it. You just have to trust me,'" She said in a higher pitched voice, "Then she turned to the whole class and said 'People! You need to trust me more. I never loose papers, you need to trust me ok?" They both started laughing again. Then Megan walked through the door, along with Alex, Kevin, and Jake. They were talking about something as they entered, as they neared, Draco heard it was about their new DADA teacher.

"I just can't believe they actually hired her," Alex said.

"She's the first female teacher for the subject in the history of the school, ever!" Megan noted happily.

"I'm just glad I know at least one of my teachers won't hate me straight off," Jake voiced.

"Well, Alex, won't it be nice to have a teacher who's in the same boat?" Kevin asked.

"Yeah, I guess, but I mean, it's not like I can't handle it on my own," Alex replied. 

"We never said you couldn't," Jake pointed out.

"He couldn't what?" Draco asked curiously, intrigued by their conversation.

"Nothing," Alex said coldly. "Nothing a Slytherin like myself needs to discuss with you." Draco snarled.

"Don't act like I am below you, I am more than you could ever be," Draco hissed. Alex let out a cold laugh.

"Yeah, you keep telling yourself that." Draco jumped out of his seat and grabbed the front of Alex's robes.

"Don't ever talk back to me. I have been trained with Draco Malfoy, and I could kill you easily." At Draco Malfoy, Alex stared at him.

"Let him down Ryo," Megan said, slightly angered.

"Then why are you in Gryffindor, if you have such worthy Slytherin qualities?" Alex asked, almost mocking Draco.

"Because I made a choice. The first damned friend I made was in Gryffindor and I wanted to be with her." Megan muttered something under her breath, causing Draco to drop Alex. Draco studied her for a moment. "How did you learn that?" He asked her. The spell she had performed was a fairly complex Spanish-based, wand-less spell. All of Hogwarts textbooks specifically specialized in Latin-based spells, she couldn't have learned it from one of her books. Megan's lips curled into a smile.

"Meant to be Slytherin, put in Ravenclaw, brave as Gryffindor, loyal as Hufflepuff," She replied grinning at him. Draco didn't get it, but didn't really have time to ask what it meant, because Alex spoke to her- in Polish. Draco didn't understand what they were saying, but her knew it was clearly neither Spanish nor Japanese nor Parseltongue and they other language she said she spoke was Polish. The two of them got into a conversation, and Draco, being a Malfoy and brought up with excellent manners, didn't interrupt them. Kevin and Jake rolled their eyes, apparently they couldn't understand the conversation either.

More students started filling the Great Hall, and everyone in Hermione's 'group' returned to their respected houses. Hermione called something to Megan and Alex in Polish, and they both nodded. They spoke for only a few moment longer, before Megan grabbed Kevin's hand and led him happily to the table, chattering about DADA. Jake sat down next to Nicole at the Hufflepuff table, and judging by their actions so far, Draco concluded that this arrangement was bound to cause trouble, the kind of trouble Fred and George brewed up. 

At about eight forty five the teachers started arriving. And at nine, breakfast began. Fred and George came in about five after with a girl in between them. The three of them were grinning as they sat down. Hermione looked up when she heard them sit down.

"Hello Meredith. How are things?" She asked politely.

"Absolutely corking!" The girl answered, giggling. Hermione smiled.

"Wonderful. And how are your stories coming?"

"Pretty good. They're still works in progress, but I'm getting there. You can read them later if you like. Oh, and by the way, love the hair. And the make-up, it looks nice on you." Hermione smiled again.

"Thank you, Ryo did it for me. And I would love to read your stories later." About ten minutes later, Ron and Harry came rushing in, looking ruffled. 

"That was not funny George," Ron protested as he sat down in a huff. George snickered.

"Oh, I thought it was. And there's really no need to yell at me, seeing as I didn't do it," He responded coolly. Ron shifted in his chair, so that now he was glaring daggers at Fred. Fred threw up his arms in defense.

"Hey! Don't look at me! I didn't do it either!" Ron continued his venomous stare.

"Then who, may I ask, did?" Both the twins were grinning.

"Her!" They yelled in unison, pointing at Meredith.

"She did it all!" Fred defended.

"Yeah, so blame her. We were not involved," George added. Meredith hit George.

"Real nice, leave me by myself to face the Wrath of Ron," She said in mock anger, folding her arms.

"Nah! There's no way we'll let our little brother kill you. And did I mention it was a truly ingenious trick?"

"No," She answered, continuing to pretend to be angry. But then she looked up at Ron and started laughing hysterically. Draco was about to ask what she did, when Dumbledore stood up.

"Now that all the students are here," He said clearly staring at Ron and Harry, "I would like to introduce you all to our new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. Some of you," He began, now looking towards the Ravenclaw table, "Have already figured out who our lovely mystery women is." The hall filled with whispers, a female DADA teacher was big news, whoever the teacher was, they were making history, being the first female DADA teacher in the history of Hogwarts; it really was no surprise everyone was eager to find out who she was. "And I'm sure many of you are wondering who she is, and why she was not here last night. I will not answer your questions for you, because she is more than eager to tell you about herself. So I would like to introduce to you Professor-" Before he could finish, the great hall doors burst open and a averaged height woman came through. She had long medium-colored, brown hair that reached to about her waist. He eyes were a shade all their own, they seemed to be a deep brown, but also appeared to be slightly reddish, however you wanted to describe them, one thing was clear; they held a fire of anger within them. Her elegant blood red robes followed her graceful steps, fitting her more like a medieval dress than normal robes; strike that her robes were a blood red medieval dress with black accents, such as lace in the top and ribbons that ties on her wide sleeves. She wore platform black boots, making her seem about 5 feet 10 inches tall. She quickly reached the Teacher's table and hit her palms against the table across from Snape. She glared at him with a glare that would even make Voldemort tremble. 

"I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU!! HOW IN HELL COULD YOU FORGET TO MAKE THE DAMNED POTION!!!!!" She screamed angrily, hell who am I kidding, she was yelling so loudly, Draco was sure you could hear her all the way back at Platform 9 ¾. Snape visibly paled.

"Potion?" He asked weakly. "But you didn't need it till the first…" He paled even further, "Oh..."

"YEAH! AND DON'T ACT LIKE I DIDN'T TELL YOU SEVERUS!!! BECAUSE I MENTIONED IT TO YOU WHEN YOU WERE IN THE TEACHER'S LOUNGE! MINERVA WAS THERE! SHE CAN VERIFY IT FOR ME!!" Now McGonagal visibly paled. The brown haired woman slammed her fist into the table, cracking it. "You are just so bloody lucky that I didn't have bloody class today and that I know how to make the bloody potion!"

"Now, now professor, language," Professor Dumbledore advised in a displeased tone. Hermione looked she had just walked in on Snape while he was taking a shower and now he was hitting on her, in other words utterly disgusted. 

"_She's_ going to be our new professor?!" Hermione asked scandalized, "She has a temper worse than Ron's! And a mouth worse than him as well! Why on Earth would Dumbledore hire _her_?! She better be a bloody genius if she's going to be able to get away with that!" 

"Professor, please take your seat next to Minerva and Severus, we can discuss the matter later," Dumbledore instructed the woman, neither Snape nor McGonagal looked happy with the seating arrangements. The room was almost quiet enough to hear a pin drop, very few students dared to whisper with that professor looking so angry. "Students, as I was saying, this is you new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor," He continued, gesturing to the lady who had stormed into the room minutes before, "Professor Shauna Ozark." Draco heard many students gasp, but upon hearing her name, Hermione fainted.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: Hey everyone, once again I'm sorry that teachers are so evil and give out homework. Second, I would like to explain the title, it's a spin off of the song "Do You Hear the People Sing?" from the musical Les Misarables. Onward to the Thank Yous!

Thank you to:** f0xyness39- **EW! Get your mind outta the gutter!! Lol**, Pixael28- **You should be! Lol, ^_-**, Christa-** Did ya get the email?? Isn't it so nice to have authors tell you when they've written more? lol**, KAOS-** WOOOOOHOOOOOO! I have Wake Up Hermione stuck in my head, and I am soooooooo gonna add that in somewhere!**, gumlick- **Or is there? *does a shifty thing with her eyebrows***, shibbydragongirl-** OMG!! I'm sooooooo sorry about the name!! Like I said it was like 1 a.m.! Anyways! I tried to make up for it, did you notice how? *wink, wink***, Sana Lupin-** Seriously? Ok, now I'm scared! *hides in her teacup***, liebe d malfoy crespo-** AWE! You're so nice! *huggles***, Saria Black- **What's with the face?? Mine's better! See! _O**, WeasleyGirl- **YAY! I'm glad you liked it! And there is no such thing as too many tootsie rolls!!**, Fallen-Angel- **lol, love the cheesy grin.**, GinnyGINvampire00 aka Evon- **Wow, complicated name there. And you are right, Draco is so hot! And HAHA! I made your brain hurt!!! *runs into a wall* Owe….**, p0tterSt@lk3r- **YAY! I'm creative!**, MeowMixy- ***acts all sarcastic like* Well it IS a comedy, oh my! Look at that! It's funny AND it's a comedy! How amazing! Lol, j/k, don't mind me I had an energy shake for breakfast, those make me act like I'm on drugs, I'm ok, honest! No! Don't tell the mental hospital I escaped! *jumps into her teacup so _they_ can't find her***, Lisa- **I'm updating soon! Look! Se this word. No not that one, the other one. Yeah right there. No, no, not that one, this one. Yeah there. Uh huh, yeah, that's the one. Well it's part of the update. Seriously! I know! Amazing huh?! Wow, this computer never seizes to amaze me.

****

And now! The Must Read List!

This updates two must read fics are:

Stranger at my Door by Ragazza Doulce (Draco/Hermione)

Of Dragons and Faeries by RelenaS (Draco/Hermione)

I promise next update I will have two Must Read Draco/Harry fics, for all those fans out there. See ya next update!!! And Remember:

**__**

REVIEW!!!!!

PS:** SPOONERISM FOREVER!!!!!!!!!**


	8. the spiFFy riDDle answer

A/N: Hey everyone! I just wanted to give you the answer to the riddle, since I've been asked about it already, I only updated a few seconds ago!!! Anyways, here's the Riddle again!

I have a green glass door. And only certain things can pass through my green glass door. For example, a pillow can pass through, but a bed cannot. A swimmer, goggles, and a pool can pass through, but water cannot. Knees can pass through, but elbows cannot. Lips cannot pass through, but teeth can. Neither of us could pass through, but Harry could; twice.

Did you get it? Let me repeat a big clue. I have a GREEN GLASS DOOR.

Still don't get it? Well here's the answer.

Only words that have a the same letter twice in a row may enter. GrEEn glaSS dOOr. PiLLow, swiMMer, goGGles, pOOl, knEEs, tEEth, HaRRy PoTTer. See! Harry can pass through twice! Anyways, you don't really have to review on this, unless you want to tell me how amazing this riDDle is, LOL. See ya next update!


	9. Kids!

A/N: Reminder, anything written between asterisks (*) are actions that happen in Draco's thoughts.

Dedicated to Islay Devilie Malfoy. If you didn't get that, don't ask, it has nothing to do with the plot line.

Kids!

Everything seemed to happen all at once. Draco managed to catch Hermione's body before it fell off the bench and onto the floor. Sarah nearly choked on her orange juice, and Christina all the way over at Ravenclaw did a double take. Apparently by everyone's reactions, this women must be pretty well known. Perhaps a murder convict escaped from Azkaban? What, don't look at me like that, it was only a guess. Neville, who seemed to have noticed Hermione, called out, "Professor Dumbledore! Hermione's fainted!" Harry and Ron immediately jumped out of their seats. McGonagal stood up, worried, she seemed like she was going to go over to Hermione when Professor Ozark stood up.

"I'll take her to the hospital wing," She stated and turned on her heal and walked down to the Gryffindor table. When she got there, she spoke to Draco. "Here, let me carry her," She said softly, lifting Hermione up into her arms. She started towards the doors, when all Hermione's camping friends in Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff all got out of their seats with the intent to follow her, along with Harry, Ron, and Draco. The Professor turned around. "Sit," She commanded and all of them froze. "There is no way in Hell the nurse is gonna let you all in. Ryo may come along for the time being." Harry and Ron were about to protest when she spoke again, "You can come and visit her is shifts after breakfast. Come Ryo," She instructed nodding her head towards the door before magically opening them. Draco followed her, wondering how she knew everyone's names already. Professor Ozark slowed down her pace slightly so Draco could catch up. Draco didn't say anything, but really, can you blame him? This is the same woman who just had successfully made Professor Snape tremble in his Slytherin robes, a nearly impossible feat, yet she succeeded none the less. It sounded like the professor snorted silent laughter. "Are you always this quiet Ryo?" Draco shook his head.

"No." Pause. "How do you know my name?" He asked, interested n the fact they had never met, for obvious reasons, the main one being Ryo Akuinnen does not exist, and yet she knew his name. Correction; his alias for the time being.

"I have my ways," She answered bluntly. ("Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooookay then!")

"Oh." Pause. "Why did Hermione faint when she learned your identity?" He asked in a slightly different tone, the one really annoying little kids use when asking questions. Shauna snorted in a way that clearly stated, 'Oh my God, where have you been? In a closet snogging? I can't believe you don't know!' ("My, her snorts say a lot, don't they?")

"Someone else does your shopping for you, don't they?" She stated more than asked. "Perhaps your mother does it while you look through the quidditch shop?" She guessed, smiling, eyes twinkling. Draco was flabbergasted at the accuracy of her guess, predictions, whatever you want to call them, how the hell could she know all that? "And your father doesn't let you read the Daily Prophet to often, hunh? Pity, no one is too good to not read the paper, it's not like the paper will poison your perfectly shaped views on life." 

"What does all that have to do with Hermione?" Draco asked slightly annoyed with her blabbering. Shame he didn't realize she was dising him the whole time, but, Oh Well!

"I'm getting there. Sheesh, don't get your knickers in a twist." ("Knickers? Did someone mention knickers? Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm… Hermione had some _nice _black knickers… I wonder what color she has on today… *mentally slaps his forehead* NO! *bang* STOP! *bang* DAMN YOU PROFESSOR- MAKING ME THINK OF THOSE SEXY BLACK KNICKERS!!!! *bang* GET *bang* OUT *bash* OF *boom* MY *crash* HEAD *smack* YOU BLOODY THOUGHTS!!! *continues bash his head into that wall that appeared so much last chapter* *the wall cracks*") The professor made this giggle-like sound, it wasn't quite a giggle but close enough to one, oh hell, we'll just call it a giggle. She giggled, at what Draco did not know. "Now, if your done, I was saying that if you read the school supplies list, you'd have noticed I've written almost every book on the list. And if you read the paper once and a while, you would almost be certain to find at least one article about me. I am not only the first female DADA teacher, but also probably the youngest person invited to teach here, and on top of that, I also have had numerous awards and honors bestowed upon me that many wizards have to work most their lives to receive." ("A little conceited there, aren't we… My god, you think she would be a little more modest about her earnings. I don't like her, she thinks she better than all of us and- Hang on a second! First female DADA teacher, youngest teacher ever, tons of awards and honors? No _wonder_ Hermione fainted! This damned woman must be her hero, a saint in Miss. Know-It-All's eyes! Granger most likely _dreams_ of becoming this woman 10 years from now! Hold up, wasn't Hermione discussing a Shauna this morning? It has to be the same one, I mean, how many Shauna's are there that write extremely popular wizarding books? Yeah, there aren't too many authors out there named Shauna, so Professor Ozark and Shauna must be one in the same…") As Draco was thinking, they reached the hospital wing. Professor Ozark magically opened the doors and walked through, Draco at her side. Suddenly, he stopped and his face lit up as something dawned on him. 

"Wait! Professor Ozark, are you by any chance related to Megan? Brown hair, red highlights, green eyes, first year, sorted into Ravenclaw, speaks, like, five million different languages." Professor Ozark smiled at him. 

"Yes, as a matter of fact I am. She's my younger cousin. Met her through Hermione I take?" Draco nodded. She smiled again. "Hermione and Meg both seem to know everyone. Have you met everyone we camped with then? Matt and Sarah and all of them?" 

"Yeah, I was introduced yesterday. We camped with? So you know H.D. as well?" She nodded placing Hermione down on one of the hospital beds. 

"Yes I know Herschel, actually there is only a few months age difference between us." 

"Really? Than you should be… twenty-one?" 

"Almost, twenty-two. Today is my birthday." 

"Oh, happy birthday." She turned and smiled at him. "Thank you. You're the first one to say anything. …Poppy! Ms. Hermione Granger has fainted, Albus asked me to bring her here." Only about a spilt second after she announced this, Poppy came rushing out, seemingly out of nowhere.

"Oh! Dearie me! What happened to her? Did Malfoy get at her again? Oh where is my thermometer?" The nurse asked, not allowing anyone to answer. 

"No Poppy, 'Malfoy' did not 'get at her again'. Draco is not even at the school this year. Hermione merely fainted from shock of seeing me. And your thermometer is right here," The professor answered holding the thermometer in her hand. 

"Thank you Shauna," She responded taking it from the teacher. She stopped and did a double take. "Shauna? Is that really you! Oh Sevvie wasn't lying when he said you were going places! A Hogwarts professor as well! All of my favorites are coming back here!" She exclaimed pulling Shauna into a hug. Draco snickered at the mention of 'Sevvie', he could just picture Snape giving the nurse his 'glare o' death' as she hugged Shauna tightly. Professor Ozark pulled back. 

"It's nice to see you too Poppy. But perhaps you should give Hermione a quick look over, I'm sure you'll have about 15 students rushing in here after breakfast, not to mention Minerva." 

"Fifteen of them? Oh dearie me, we better hurry!" The nurse quickly began her routine examinations, checking for a steady, regular heart beat, and the like, she then also ran a few tests to make sure Hermione wasn't hexed. Seeming satisfied with her work, the nurse started to put her equipment away. She then vanished to her room. This left Draco alone with not-so-scary-once-you-get-to-know-her, Professor Ozark. She sat down in the seat on one side of Hermione's bed and motioned for Draco to sit in the chair on the opposite side of the bed.

"So," the professor began. Draco fidgeted nervously. "Classes start tomorrow, what are you taking?"

"Oh… I haven't thought of it really," And he hadn't, he had just assumed he was going to take all the same classes, but "the plan" said he was suppose to take all his classes with Potter. "I suppose I'll take whatever Hermione takes," He responded shrugging.

"Ah, I see. Do you even _know_ her class schedule?" 

"…No, I suppose not." He frowned, he now had absolutely no clue what classes he was to take.

"DADA, History of Magic, Creative Magic, Care of Magical Creatures, Arithmancy, Transfiguration, Potions, Herbology, Charms, and Astronomy," Hermione croaked, causing both Draco and Professor Ozark to turn their head to look at her. Professor Ozark smiled.

"I suppose now Ryo, you know your class schedule," Professor Ozark pointed out smiling. Draco nodded. "So, Hermione dear, are you feeling better?" She nodded. "It's a good thing Ryo was sitting next to you. If it weren't for him you would might have cracked your head open. She caught you, you know." Hermione turned her head towards Draco.

"Thanks," She said her voice cracking, smiling at him.

"You're welcome, I only did what anyone would have done," He said looking down blushing slightly. Professor Ozark grin grew wider.

"Oh how modest you've become!" Hermione and Draco both turned and looked at her oddly. Hermione sat up in her bed, leaning back against the pillows.

"How modest you've become? Excuse me for asking, for I mean not to be rude, but are you feeling alright? That exclamation is incorrect, unless you have watched her grow up over the years, for you cannot make a statement like that without knowing someone for years," She turned to Draco, "Do you know Shaun- I mean, Professor Ozark, and not tell me?" She asked in an accusing voice. Draco shook his head furiously.

"No! I met her today! Honest!" Hermione turned back to Professor Ozark.

"Then unless you have been stalking Ryo, your statement is irrelevant."

"Brilliant observation Hermione, I see you haven't changed from five years back."

"Has it already been five years?"

"I believe so, if not longer."

"Hey, Hermione, if you and Shauna know each other, how come you fainted when you heard her name?" Draco interrupted. Hermione blushed slightly.

"Well, a combination of factors lead to that outcome. See, firstly, she has been my role model since I discovered her books, I never knew she was a witch until after I had been accepted into Hogwarts. Secondly, I haven't seen her since I learned I was a witch. Thirdly, her language was absolutely astounding! Hearing the person I admired using that sort of language was enough to scare me into unconsciousness!"

"Yeah, ya know, now that I really think about it, it's a bit odd that your parents, being muggles, have an entire group of friends that are wizards and witches." Hermione shrugged.

"When I asked my parents about that, they said they had no clue. My mother grew up near Megan's mother, Kim, and became friends with the people Kim brought home with her each summer from boarding school. Since they all knew her from the numerous summers they spent together, it seemed natural to invite her on their camping trips, since about half of them were muggle born anyway." Just then, the door burst open. Everyone turned their head to the door, surprised by the loud noise made. Through the door, just as Professor Ozark had predicted, came rushing in Harry, Ron, Ginny, as well as most of the Gryffindors, as well as the 'Camping Group'. The Gryffindors ran to Hermione, while the 'Camping Group' ran to Shauna, who had stood up and walked towards them smiling. Hermione was bombarded with questions, and Shuana was practically attacked, since she had not been seen for about five years. Poppy came running out of her room, due to the extreme noise being produced.

Hermione was let out of the hospital wing shortly after. Shuana, Alex, and Megan left the hospital wing together, speaking in Polish. Hermione shook her head mumbling something Draco assumed was also Polish, since she had made it clear last night she also spoke the language. Kevin and Jake with Fred and George and Meredith left together, undoubtedly to either discuss Snape's public humiliation or a devious prank, or perhaps both.

"Hey, Hermione?" Draco asked politely, interrupting the silence that had fallen on the corridor after Meredith and all those pranksters had left.

"Yeah?" She responded, starting to walk down the hall. 

"What is Creative Magic? We never had it last year, at my school I mean," He added quickly, hoping she wouldn't notice his slight slip up. 

"It's a new course they integrated into the class schedule for interested students this year. It focuses on magical influence in The Arts, such as drama, music, and art." 

"Oh, I see. Who's going to be the professor?" Hermione smiled broadly. 

"The professor's name is Marc Huggelmann, he's American and insists on being called Mr. Huggelmann rather than Professor Huggelmann. He is simply hysterical; I had the honor of meeting him during the summer in Diagon Alley. I'm not sure where he studied magic, since he claims he became a professor on accident, which he was definitely explain to the class tomorrow, but he has taught drama mainly in muggle schools. In the past few years, however, he has been traveling, finding parallels between magical and muggle arts. He is married, and has two kids, his wife in deaf." 

"There are many magical ways to fix that," Draco interrupted. 

"Yes, there are, but his wife says she is content with the way God made her." 

"Did you meet her too then?" 

"Yes, she was with Mr. Huggelmann, in fact, she's the reason I met Mr. Huggelmann. I saw her signing to him and I think she felt me watching her and turned to me. Much to her surprise, I responded like this," She put her fingers together and then brought it to her chest, pinky side touching her chest, and then slid her entire hand down. She then touched her right temple with her right index finger. She then made two L like figures with her thumb and index on each hand and spun them on a slight angle around each other, with a fair distance between them. "I know sign language," She said making the patterns once again. "She smiled at me and began talking, well, signing to me and eventually Mr. Huggelmann came into the conversation." 

"So is his family living nearby then? I mean, if he has a wife and kids I assume the live somewhat nearby, am I right?" 

"Well, I'm not entirely sure. I would think so." All of a sudden, as the two were walking down the hall, an extremely loud blast of music erupted from one of the classrooms. Then, a female voice was heard singing. 

__

Kids! 

I don't know what's wrong with these kids today!

Draco and Hermione looked at each other, before rushing towards where ever the music was coming from. 

__

Kids! 

Who can understand anything they say? 

They found the classroom where the music ("A.K.A. Noise.") was coming from, Draco's jaw dropped when he saw the person playing the "music".

__

Kids! 

They are disobedient, disrespectful oafs! 

Noisy, crazy, dirty, lazy loafers! 

And while we're on the subject: 

He found a man, who had graying hair and glasses, standing near an oddly shaped box, from which the music was protruding.

__

Kids! 

You can talk and talk 'till your face is blue. 

Kids! 

They'll still do what they want to do!

The man started singing the next verse, in a beautiful tenor voice, adding hand motions and facial expressions that fit the music.

__

Why can't they be like we were;

Perfect in every way,

What's the matter with kids today?

The man turned to the door and winked. Hermione giggled and ran over to the man and sang with him, dancing along as well to the music coming from that strange box.

__

Kids!

I've tried to raise him the best I could 

Kids! Kids! 

Laughing, singing, dancing, grinning, morons! 

And while we're on the subject! 

Kids! 

They are just impossible to control! 

Kids! 

With their awful clothes and their rock an' roll! 

Why can't they dance like we did 

What's wrong with Sammy Caine?

What's the matter with kids today!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrright. You have no clue how much fun I had at the end with that song! Heehee! I love that song. If any of you can name the play/movie that came from, you get a Cooooooooooookie! Woohoo! Cookies!

And here's the thank you list, and everyone gets a special response from me today! Yay! ^_^ 

****

Totowizofoz- I'll go do that after I send the email update notices.**, Dragon Guardian of the Sea- **It's cold here too! Let's go Xanadu next weekend, okay? And yes you are married to a he/she. Everyone point at Meredith and laugh. *everyone does so***, Dragon Guardian of the Sea- **I'm not telling!!**, KAOS- **lol, I answer your question in the next message**, KAOS- **lol, (for two reasons, one) both your messages start with lols, two) I found your message funny) that's alright, I didn't get this riddle when I was asked it either, see! We're the same like that, lol.**, starheart- **Sorry this wasn't out all too soon, damn school and homework -_-;; **, Banessia- **I think the new chapter will be up now, lol, glad you like my writing!**, Lady Slytherin- **I hope you succeed in your task, cuz I didn't read anymore reviews from you. Glad you like this!**, Maria- **Lol, only you and I got that, but it was worth it! Look for more Mrs. Quinn put downs in the future chapters!**, Ragazza Doulce- **You're welcome, it was no problem, I love your fic. And does this really kick @$$? Lol, sorry, I just had to ask that way ^__^**, Britta- **lol, the term 'flamer' never crossed my mind. ^_^ The riddle was bothering many people, so I decided to be the nice author I am (Draco: Yeah right!) and post the solution, glad you like this so much! Oh, and sorry bout your crappie-computer-chair, lol, **Lady Bellaluna- **Then I'm sorry I made you wait so long, I won't do it again (I hope…)**, f0xyness39- **Are you EVER signed in?? lol, and no, Shauna is not Hermione's long lost aunt, she's my evil cousin! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!**, tears flow softly- **First off, I love your name. Second off, thank you!**, Queen Li- **Yes! He can! It's hard to be a woman!**, p0tt3rSt@lk3r- **lol, yes the teacher is kinda scary. The funny part is she's based on my cousin, but she would never use that kind of language, ^_^;; **, Harriet Potter- **Thanks. (see next message)**, JKR & BJ luva- **I noticed the name change, it's nice. As for the riddle, one of my teachers told me it, and I liked it so I though, 'Hey! Let's put it in my fic!' As for, how to make a story, first you need to regester a Pen name, so go do that!!**, Saria Black-Fred Weasleys Girl- **But being obsessed isn't a bad thing! And I'm glad you reconized the song, it's one of my favorites! ^_^**, Space Efficient Girl- **Es muy funny? Ah chica, yo halbo espanol, tu use un palabra no es real. La palabra por Funny es gracioso. Es muy gracioso. ¿Comprendes? ^_^;; **, elijahsbaby1981- **Did my email help?**, Awkwardness- **Yes it is a good riddle, that's the whole reason why I used it, lol, and you should use it! Go tell it to your family and friends!**, liebe granger d malfoy crespo- **Thank you, it's great to have fans, lol**, Shasa Perino- **lol, that's okay, we all have our strengths, reviewing just isn't yours; lol ^_- And I never figured out the riddle when it was told to me, lol**, yasumine- **Glad you like this, I'm happy I'm attracting new readers, as well as my faithful readers ^_-**, Raven Black- **Thank you!**, - **lol, yes that is the next part, I love that song, and the play it came from ^_^**, Hox- **Woohoo! I'm glad to hear that, sorry this wasn't very soon, but homework, *shrugs* what can you do about it? Hope to see you reviewing for this chapter too!**, Banessia- **lol, yes, Draco did think up that fast**, Sana Lupin- **Thanks, and see! I didn't forget, you got your email right?**, and Penguin-** Of course I remember you! Great to have you back! ^_^**, Dragon Guardian of the Sea- **Yes, that is exactly why it is the special Meredith edition. As for the 'Wrath of Ron', no I don't think I will tell you. And for her name, her full name is Melody/Merodii Anne Ishida Samiyo. And you no longer have a special chapter up, sorry, it was a limited time offer! lol

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Must Read List!

__

As I promised, here are two Draco/Harry Must Read Fics, plus one Lily/James, that I could NOT, not read once I saw the name! They're all great!

Lullaby of a Dragon by Dorothy (Draco/Harry)

Harry and Draco: An Onomatopoeically Enhanced Tale by Nichneven (Draco/Harry)

He Swings THAT way by Sierra Sitruc (Lily/James)

Please remember to review!


	10. Carol of the Hells

A/N: I would just like to say one thing; you guys reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally like long lost relatives, huhn? Lol. A special thanks to dintalath for being so polite. Here's what dintalah's review said:

This is really good! Please write more at your earliest convinance!!

Isn't she just the nicest? Lol.

Carol of the Hells

The music stopped. Draco blinked. The man looked at him and smiled. His eyes sparkled with happiness in a way that was very Dumbledore-like. Draco wondered for a moment if perhaps he was somehow related to the headmaster. "Great song, don't you think so?" He asked grinning.

"I've never heard it before sir," Draco responded. The man laughed.

"My goodness! Is everyone in the UK this proper?" Draco nodded slightly, come one, what was he suppose to do? The man laughed again. "Then I'm sure gonna be looked at funny come tomorrow. I've never taught 'proper' students; in the states most the kids had never even heard of manners! I mean take Josh Rowell for example, whoo! That boy was impossible!" The man stopped his stories and extended his hand. "I'm Mr. Huegglemann by the way." 

"Oh, so you're the professor Hermione was talking about earlier. I'm Dra-, I mean delighted to make your acquaintance at last! Heh, heh, heh," Draco laughed nervously, eyes closing and right hand going behind his head. "I'm Ryo Akuinnen."

"Oh, wow, you must be Japanese. That's cool, you really should meet Megan, she's obsessed with Pokemon and anime."

"Poke-me-mom? Why does everyone keep bring that up?! And what the hell is anime??" Hermione giggled.

"He's never seen muggle television before Professor Huegglemann," Hermione explained.

"Never? Never never? Never never ever?? Wow, poor unfortunate Jap ((A/N: No offense to Japanese people)), live all your life in Japan and never even see anime! My goodness, I do believe Megan will consider that a mortal sin." Both Hermione and Mr. Huegglemann laughed.

"Perhaps not a mortal sin professor," Hermione said through her laughter.

"Oh, right, that's your view on procrastination and no homework."

"Hey! Not true!" Draco got bored with their conversation. ("Everyone knows everyone. Great, just great. Oh how fun things will be later...") 

"Excuse me, professor, Hermione we really ought to be going-"

"Please Ryo, it's Mr. Huegglemann, if it need be anything resembling a teacher's name. Usually Hueggie-"

"That great and all sir," Draco interrupted finally annoyed with the conversations he couldn't follow, "but Hermione and I really should be off…"

"Off for your hot date with Potter?" He laughed.

"No," Draco responded through gritted teeth, "I'm not dating Harry."

"Not yet at least," A voice came from behind. Draco turned to see Meredith, and glared. ("Ooooooooh, I'm gonna hurt her… *does an annoying, squeaky impression of Meredith* 'Not yet at least…' Damn demon women I know where you sleep…") "Come on you two we really should wash up before lunch."

"Oh, we'll have plenty of time for that later, I was telling Mr. H-" Hermione reasoned.

"No, we should really go now," She looked at Hermione and said in a lower tone that before, "I would like to wash up before lunch." Draco was utterly confused.

"But why does that concern me?"

"Because- Just because, come on I need to borrow something when we get to the bathroom…"

"Oh…. OHHHHHHHHHHH! Right!" Hermione grabbed her hand and dragged her off towards the door, "It was nice talking to you Mr. H, bye!" Draco just stood there. What was he supposed to do? I mean, come on, he had NO CLUE what EITHER of them were talking about. Hermione popped her head back into the classroom and yanked Draco into the hallway. Draco had to practically run at first to keep up with the two. He only managed to catch bits of their hushed conversation.

"I can't believe you didn't get it! Oh my god, it was like 'Wha-, oh… OHHH!'" Meredith laughed.

"Well you didn't give me much to go off of… So she's here already?" Hermione asked, Meredith nodded.

"Who's here already?" Draco asked blinking in confusion.

"Auntie Flow/Aunt Rose," They said simultaneously, before bursting into giggles at the other's answer. They soon reached the bathroom and Hermione took something out of her purse and discretely passes it to Meredith. Draco gasped.

"Hermione! Why the hell do you have cigarettes?? And why are you giving them to Meredith???" The two girls looked at each other before bursting into laughter.

"Oh my god! Maybe it's possible that you're even denser than myself!" Meredith exclaimed in laughter.

"Oh, Ryo, you should definitely be an actress!! You were so believable! I just know Mr. H will love your talent!" And with that, the two girls walked through the second set of doors that lead to the stalls. Draco was confused, yet again. He seems to be confused quite often these days. Another girl who happened to be fixing her make up turned around and smiled at him.

"You're cute… What's your name, I haven't seem you around before, are you new?" The black haired, brown eyed girl asked. Upon seeing her face, Draco knew who she was, Kat Makai, a sixth year Slytherin. ("Hey, isn't she that girl Pansy was rambling about? *disbelieving laugh* Oh yeah, the one Pansy was convinced is a pervert; funny coming from Pansy's mouth QUEEN of the perverts…") Kat looked at Draco's robes. "Gryffindor?" She purred, "Why do all the sexy girls get into Gryffindor? I'm sure there could be some pretty hot orgies in there…" ("Man, Pansy may have been right, she really IS a pervert…") By this time Kat had Draco pinned against a wall. "So, what's your name baby doll?"

"R-ryo Akuinnen."

"So you're Japanese… You almost remind me of this guy named Draco Malfoy; you look like you could almost be his girl form." Draco laughed nervously.

"Well, I'm not, heh, heh…" Kat proceeded in leaning forward to kiss Draco, when Hermione and Meredith walked through the door. 

"Ryo?!" Meredith called confused, jaw dropped down low. Hermione just kind of looked at Ryo, studying her for a moment, as though she was trying to solve an arithmancy puzzle.

"Kat, let Ryo leave with her friends," A voice came from behind, yet again. ("Man, there surrrrrrrrrre are a lot of voices coming from behind today!") Kat turned her head to see the speaker, as did Meredith, but Hermione didn't have to, she knew that voice.

"But Megan, she doesn't mind. We were having fun." Michelle gave her a look. Kat sighed and backed away. "Fine," She then turned to Draco and winked, "See ya latter babe." Megan rolled her eyes as Kat left the bathroom. Meredith looked at her astounded. 

"You KNOW her??"

"Yes, I do. She's my neighbor." All of a sudden, Draco grabbed his side. He gasped at the searing pain shooting though his left side.

"Ryo? Are you okay?" Meredith asked.

"Pain. Side. Not cool."

"That sounds like something I would say," Megan responded laughing, "So you get cramps too, huhn? Don't they suck?"

"Yes! Especially when you're doing a cheer leading routine! Oh god, it's HELL when you're suppose to be jumping up and down like a Mexican jumping bean and all of a sudden the cramps come on. Oh and its just LOVELY when you have the and you get to jump and do like a herkey and then do a stunt and since I'm a base, I have to catch the freakin' person in the cradle or they'd fall go boom!" Meredith ranted.. 

"Damn… This hurts like a cruciatus!" Draco whined.

"Wait, so you've never had cramps before?" Meredith questioned to which Draco responded with a shaking of his head. "You lucky bee-yotch!"

"So wait a minute, this is the first time you've gotten cramps, have you been hit by the dot yet?" Megan asked curiously.

"Dot? What dot?" Draco was now REEEEEEEEEALLY confused. Dots, cramps, dire trips to the bathroom, WHAT THE HELL WAS GOING ON???? Megan giggled, which annoyed Draco even more.

"Didn't your parents give you THE talk?"

"The talk? Which talk? How do I know which talk was THE talk?" Megan laughed even more.

"So, no sex ed. then?" 

"Sex ed.?! What the hell??"

"Oh my god! You have NO clue, do you?"

"No I don't. I have no clue WHATSOEVER on what the hell you girls are talking about. So please enlighten me." He said in a sarcastic, Draco-like manner. But Meredith and Megan were laughing too hard to care. Draco looked at Hermione, who hadn't said anything through out the conversation. She was looking at him, bemused.

"Well, since neither of them are in any condition to give you 'THE talk', I suppose I will. Well you see, you are a girl. ("No, I'm not. Well, not really anyway.") Girls and boys are different. ("No shit Sherlock.") And, Oh stop laughing you two, you're not making it any easier!" Hermione chided, fighting back laughter. Suddenly, there was a knock on the door.

"HERMIONE! IS THAT YOU IN THERE?"

"Yes it is Ron," She replied on the verge of a giggling fit, "What do you need?"

"IF YOU DON'T COME TO LUNCH NOW, YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO EAT!" She rolled her eyes and walked over to the door and opened it.

"You very well know I can, the house elves in the kitchen would be more than glad to whip something up for me latter, if I asked them to. YOU just want me to come to lunch to make sure I'm not starving myself or anything, and that's the real reason I passed out." Ron blushed, whether it was because of the fact he was now looking into the girls bathroom or the fact Hermione was correct, it was impossible to know. Hermione turned back to Draco, and Meredith and Megan; who still happened to be laughing at Draco's cluelessness. She herself smiled at what had transpired there moments before. "We'll finish this conversation latter, alright Ryo?"

"Then sure as hell we have to be there!" Meredith exclaimed and Megan's nods clearly displayed she agreed. 

"Yeah, whatever, you'll just have to help talk or keep quiet," Hermione warned smiling. 

As they were all walking to lunch, they ran into a guy, a very, very STRANGE guy. He was screaming a very, errr, …interesting saying.

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but whips and chains excite me! Sticks and stones may break my bones, but whips and chains excite me! Sticks and stones may break my bones, but whips and chains excite me! Sticks and stones may break my bones, but whips and chains excite me! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!" He continued to run down the hall, closely followed by some mediwizards in whit jackets.

"Joel! Come back here! You're not mentally stable!!" On of them cried.

'Joel' as he was now known as, just kept running, crying the same thing over and over, and over again. Everyone looked at each other and shrugged. "That's Joel for ya," Megan said shaking her head.

"You know HIM too?" Meredith asked.

"Yup."

"Do you know EVERY psychopath in the school?"

"Apparently, I know you don't I?" Meredith gave her a look while Draco just bit his lip, clutching his side, the cramp still killing him. He had only just sat down when he practically jumped back up. His undergarments felt as though he stuck them in the bath tub. 

"Ryo, what's wrong?" Harry asked upon seeing Draco jump up.

"N-nothing. I just remembered something, I'll be right back." Draco didn't even wait for a response before running out of the hall. Everyone turned to the Gryffindor table to see what was wrong. Hermione took one look at Meredith and mouthed something no one quite caught before walking out of the Great Hall.

Draco ran down the halls and to the Gryffindor wing. "Shokora amagaeru," Draco called from half way down the hall, running into the open entranceway. "I have got to change out of these, I don't know what the hell happened, but I am not wear wet knickers!" He pulled his underwear off and was about to put on a new pair when he noticed red liquid all over the underwear, and splashes here and there on the floor. "Is that…" His eyes widened, "BLOOD??? WHAT THE HELL?????????????????" He screamed and heard the door outside the stall suddenly burst open.

"Ryo?"

_____________________________________________________________

A/N: Don't you just love the title? I came up with it while complaining to Dragon Guardian of the Sea about how I needed a title and all of a sudden, DJ Demonixx's Carol of the Bells remix. Well, **_I _**thought my parody was creative, Hmph!

Great job to those of you who knew the song was from Bye Bye Birdie. Since I'm in such a good mood, you all get cookies! *throws a variety of cookies at you all* And do you want to now WHY I'm in such a good mood?

You: Not especially. *eat cookies*

Too bad, you get to hear anyway! Well last week I auditioned for the school play, and I just found out I made it! And just guess which play we're putting on. If you guessed Bye Bye Birdie, YOU'RE RIGHT!!!! I made the part of Mama a.k.a. Mae Peterson, you know, Albert's mom, the lady with the extremely squeaky shoes? Who always looks up to the sky and tells Lou she's comin'? The one who always says "Sonny boy"? WHAT?? YOU'VE NEVER SEEN THE MOVIE OR PLAY BEFORE??? GO RENT IT!!!!

And now for the bad news, I'm leaving going on vacation over winter break and I don't think I will have internet access. But I promise I'll write in a journal! I'm so sorry about the delay, I have a comic explaining why its so late, but I'll have to put that up later.

And sorry again, but no Thank yous or Must reads today, I have too much homework to finish. Gomen!


	11. How Lovely To Be A Woman

A/N: From now on the intros in italics are selected lyrics to the song used as the titles.

A Woman Like Me

__

How lovely to be a woman, the wait was well worth while, how lovely to wear mascara, and smile a woman smile, how lovely to have a figure, that's round instead of flat, whenever you hear boys whistle, you're what they're whistling at! It's wonderful to feel, the way a women feels, it gives you such a glow, just to know, you're wearing lipstick and heels. How lovely to be a woman, and have one job to do, to pick out a boy and train him, and then when you are through, you've made him the man you want him, to be! Life's lovely when you're a woman like me!

Draco began hyperventilating; hardly noticing someone else was in the bathroom with him. "Oh hell… Oh hell… Oh bloody hell…"

"You got that right, menstrual cycles are a bloody hell."

"Hermione, what the hell is going on?" He asked, not demanding but almost a bit scared; almost.

"It's going be okay, it's only your menstrual flow, you'll be okay Ryo."

"But Hermione, I'm bleeding!" Draco was now panicking "I'm bleeding! What's wrong with me?!"

"Ryo, there's nothing wrong with you. You're just going through your period."

"My what?"

"Your period; your dot; your flow; your special time of the month. It's what I started explaining earlier. Ryo, did you grab a second pair of underwear when you ran into our room?" Draco nodded.

"Ye-yes, I did."

"Okay, is there any blood on them?"

"N-no, not yet." 

"Okay, good. Hand them to me"

"WHAT?" Draco managed to croak, ("I AM NOT HANDING MY UNDERGARMENTS TO A MUDBLOOD!")

"Ryo, relax, please just hand them to me." Draco did so, a tad bit reluctantly though; he wanted me to point out. "Thank you. Ooooo… These are nice, very cute. And fortunately for us, they aren't a thong!" She giggled slightly while Draco blushed slightly at this comment. "Oh, you might want to sit down and let the blood fall into the toilet rather than the floor."

"Oh, right." Draco sat down onto the toilet seat, blushing a bit more. "I mean I've never-"

"I understand. Having this happen with no previous briefing must be a little scary. Here you go, this should help."

"Thanks." He grabbed his underwear that Hermione had floated over. "Uh, Hermione… What's this?" Draco asked examining it.

"It's a pad, it's meant to absorb the blood. It's bewitched so that you'll be able to know when to change pads."

"Oh, thank you…. Ack! I feel like I'm wearing a diaper!" Hermione giggled.

"Yes, I know that feeling, I think all women do." Draco magically cleaned up the blood on the floor before stepping out of the stall.

"Have you gotten you're period yet Hermione?"

"Me? No, not yet this month. I'm usually a few days behind everyone else."

"Oh… And who _is_ everyone; exactly?" Hermione giggled.

"Everyone; exactly. Sarah, Meredith, Lavender, Padma, Megan, Kat; pretty much every girl second year and older."

"But isn't Megan a first year?"

"Yeah, but everyone starts at different ages."

"Oh." There was a fairly awkward silence.

"Well, I suppose I should do things proper."

"What?" Draco asked confused washing his hands.

"Oh, I was just assessing whether or not to go ahead and give you the "talk"."

"Yes! Yes! Please do!" Hermione turned around to see at least half the female Gryffindor population standing in the door bemused. Sarah was grinning deviously. "We arranged for the house elves to bring up some food, none of us wanted to miss your beautiful 'You're Body's Going Through Changes' speech." Hermione laughed.

"So you're telling me that practically every female Gryffindor came to hear me give the "talk"?"

"Yup!" They all chirped happily.

"Of course followed by games and gossip," Sarah said matter of factly.

"Of course, how could I forget," Hermione responded seriously before half laughing, "You are all weird."

"We know." Hermione sighed defeated.

"Sure, whatever." Cheers followed this agreement. Draco just stared at them all oddly, embarrassed by it all.

Everyone seemed to find room to sit, how they did it I have no clue though, so don't ask me okay? Anyways, like I was saying, Hermione, Draco, well technically Ryo, and Sarah were sitting on Hermione's bed with Ginny resting her arms on the mattress since she was on the floor near the bed. "So, Ryo, you know nothing about what's happening?" Draco shook his head; this was followed by laughter by multiple parties in the room.

"Sounds sorta familiar, doesn't it Ginny?" Lavender asked nudging her; Ginny turned bright red.

"It's not my fault my mother neglected to tell me what was going on," She said trying to sound indignant but ended up laughing. "At least I was a first year and my mother assumed I'd get it latter." Draco didn't look happy at this statement, he blushed slightly and looked down embarrassed; and Ginny noticed. "Oh! I'm sorry Ryo. I didn't meant to-" Draco shook his head.

"Whatever, it's no big deal, really." Whoa, talk about un-Draco-like behavior. Must be the emotional side effect of menstrual cycles. But back to the "talk."

"Okay then! Back to Hermione's story!" Sarah imputed.

"Oh, so it's a story now?" She laughed continuing, "Anyways, Ryo, all girls have certain, er…, parts; we'll be focusing on those below the belt, internally and externally. Well, I guess I have to start by kind of explaining sex don't I?" The girls all giggled at this while Hermione looked as though she was trying to think it all out; what she was going to say of course! Get your mind out of the gutter! If you want stories like _that_ go ask The Slash Café to order some. Wait, scratch that, I don't believe they're open yet, but back to the explanation of Draco's new girly parts. "Well, as you may or may not know, women and men both contribute to the product of sex; a baby-" Draco blushed at this. ("Oh god, oh god… She's giving me a sex talk! And I can't get those bloody knickers out of my head! Crap. Oh crap…") "Women contribute the egg. The eggs are stored in the two ovaries located about here," Hermione pointed to about where they would be on herself, "They're connected to the uterus, which is about here-" Draco's eyes widened and the blush on his cheeks deepened as Hermione now touched where this was located. "Which is connected to the opening down a bit lower," Hermione continued blushing slightly, "I won't show where _that_ is located…"

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawe…" Went everyone before laughing.

"Yes, please don't Hermione, I'm scarred for life already by the sight of you and those knickers of yours," Lavender explained woefully, laughing of course; Draco blushed of course. Hermione made a face and stuck out her tongue before laughing as well.

"So, like I was saying before Lavender so _rudely_ interrupted-"

"And saved us all the therapy." Hermione laughed continuing.

"Every month the ovaries release eggs, well usually one egg but occasionally it lets out a few extras, but that's besides the point-"

"So what _is_ your point, Hermione?"

"I can't remember, what _was _my point?" She joked pretending to be deep in thought.

"Well, you started explaining why we bleed during menstrual cycles to Ryo," Ginny offered trying to act as serious as Hermione, but failed miserably. 

"Jolly ho! That's right Sherlock! However did you solve the mystery?"

"Why it's all elementary Watson." Everyone in the room started cracking up.

"Uhhh…." Draco stated unintelligibly.

"Now my dear boy," Ginny continued in character addressing Draco, unfortunately Draco did not know this, that poor deprived pure blood. He paled greatly and jumped out off the bed in horror.

"Wha-what?! I am not a boy! I am Ryo Akuinnen! How dare you accuse me of being Draco! He's a friend of the family! I am not some freak of nature or a cross dressing lunatic so STOP ACCUSING ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Everyone stared blankly at Draco, then blinking simultaneously.

"No one was accusing you of any such thing," Sarah told him laughing in disbelief, "Why in God's name would you think Ginny's role playing is accusing you of being a man?" Draco sat back down on to the bed blushing, staring at the comforter as if it held the knowledge of the world in it.

"Well, errr… You see mmmmmy aunt was a man-" The room gasped. 

"You're uncle was gay?!" Someone asked in awe.

"No! No!" ("Damn, why did I say that?! *bang* Get out of my head images! *crash* Get out Oldie-Moldie-Voldiemort and 'Luscious'. Blek, that was so wrong. That was the gayest this to sayyyyy- DAMN IT! Enough with the gay! I can't get the image of Harry and Ron going at it out of my headddddddddd- WAIT A BLOODY SECOND! Since when do I call them by their names in my head?!? *evil glare of death at the image* Damn it! Being a girl is making me have perverted thoughts; well more disturbing ones than I ever had as a man…") "What I meant to say was she _was_ a woman at one time but became a man-" The room gasped yet again. Ginny was flushed deep red in embarrassment.

"Oh Ryo! I'm so sorry- I mean, I had no idea- I-" Ginny was desperately trying to apologize.

"It's okay, I guess I'm just a lot more sensitive about the fact than I thought I was." 

"Which brings me back to why we are here in the first place!" Hermione proclaimed happily. "Becoming extremely emotional about trivial occurrences or things you normally are okay about. Craps are also an unwelcome, painful, annoying side effect to menstrual cycles. So, the ovaries release an egg, slash, eggs once a month. They travel through the tubes attached to the ovaries to the uterus. If a sperm happens to be waiting for it, it is fertilized and a baby will eventually grow from it." Blush, blush. That was Draco's reaction, in case you didn't notice, you dumb arse you. "If no sperm is there, the lining in the uterus that would help support the egg as it grew is not needed and is ejected out of the body. The blood that soils your undergarments once a month is the useless uterus lining."

"Oh," Draco managed to squeak utterly embarrassed, mind utterly in the gutter.

"Menstrual cycles, or as they are commonly called; periods, usually last a week or so. And occur about every 28 days, in theory." Hermione leaned over and pulled a small calendar out of her nightstand drawer. "So, today in the second, classes start the fifth…." She continued mumbling to herself and then cast a duplicating spell on the calendar and marked a red dot on both calendars. "Here's a calendar so you can keep track of your cycles, I have a copy since it's hard to remember to mark when it starts and ends in the begging."

"Thank you," Draco mumbled embarrassed taking the calendar. "Oh," Draco exclaimed examining it. "Why is the fifth circled in red as well as green?"

"The dates circles in red are the approximate dates my period should start and the dates circled in green are important school dates, see? The first is circled in green as well."

"Wow Hermione, you should keep a big calendar on the wall and have _everyone_ mark their period dates on it!" Someone called out.

"Okay!" She cast a spell to create a new larger calendar and put it on the wall. She then used a red pen and marked R.A. on the second and used a purple pen and marked H.G. on the fifth.

"It's called sarcasm…" They muttered. Hermione made a key at the bottom and made small boxes of colors for a key.

"Okay! So you use red for the actual date your period starts, purple for the approximate date of your next period, green for important school dates such as exam dates ect., blue for birthdays, and black for quidditch match dates. And you all are welcome to use the calendar." She smiled brightly, somewhere in the crowd the 'someone' who sarcastically suggested the idea, AKA Meredith, rolled her eyes.

___________________________

A/N: Yay! I actually finished another chapter! I'm about 5 minutes away from my family's condo in Orlando right now, and guess what! It's only Dec. 30th! Yay! I still have 6 days left of my vacation! And I already have another chapter all planned out. It actually was gonna be part of this chapter, but I figured this was plenty long and the next idea is completely different from the one conveyed in this chapter. So! I'm not going to talk anymore because it's wasting time I could use to write more. BYE!


	12. Jenni, Joel, Jaffa Cakes, and Jibberish ...

A/N: I apologize now for the extreme oddity and randomness of this chapter. The third person narrator talks a lot more in this, which may or not be a good thing. Oh, and this chapter shouldn't have been out until two weeks from now, but I'll explain why it's up at the end of the chapter. Happy Reading!

__

Dedicated to 'Manda, cuz she mah home dawg! Manda, you craxy gurl! (lol) And to Jenni, one should be proud of oneself! One has a chapter dedicated to one! One is very happy that one has found one's mistake! One is eternally grateful to one!!!

-^__^-

Jenni, Joel, Jaffa Cakes, and Jibberish (Alliteration rocks!)

After everyone's name was on the calendar, yes even Meredith's; unfortunately for her Hermione knew her start date because of what transpired earlier. So, after everyone's name was on the calendar… "GAME TIME!!" Lavender called out. Shortly after, the house elves came in with a bunch of sugar-filled, junk food goodies, Pepsi products, and a fridge full of ice cream and sundae toppings. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, ice cream… I mean, ahem, they had ice cream, yeah ice cream, very yummy ice cream, in all it's frozen goodness…

"What no coffee???" This is where I would do an anime fall while a giant sweatdrop accumulates on the back of my head. And that would be Meredith, the number one coffee addict of the Gryffindor clan. 

"Dobby will gets yous some coffee miss." 

FIVE MINUTES LATER

"COFFEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE!!!!" Do I even have to tell you who that was? Good. Smart reader. Go get the treat, go get it! Good reader!

"Is she always like this?" Draco asked whispering to Hermione, who in turn shook her head and sighed.

"Yes."

"Damn."

Meanwhile, In the Great Hall…

Ron looked around the Gryffindor table. "Hey, guys?" No reply. "Guys?" … "GUYS!" Everyone suddenly snapped to attention

"Yeah?" responded Dean. "Whaddya want? We were in the middle of something!" he motioned to Seamus.

"I'm sorry to interrupt your daily lunch-time snog session, but look around. Something's… missing…" Dean, Seamus, Ron, Neville, Fred, Harry, and George all looked around the table, which was greatly lacking in females.

"Now that you mention it," Seamus began wisely, "I think our table was moved due north by a considerable 3 degrees." The rest all stared at him.

"Since when did you get so damn smart?" Ron demanded while Seamus just shrugged.

"Since this chapter apparently."

"Hey, you know it is awfully quiet here…" Dean agreed.

"And a bit on the empty side…" Neville observed.

"And Meredith hasn't- Meredith! Meredith's missing!" exclaimed George. Fred looked around the table.

"Oh my god! You're right! She's not here!" Fred gasped.

"Hermione's missing too!" Harry cried.

"And Lavender!" screeched someone down the table.

"And Padma!" another shouted.

Over at the Ravenclaw Table… 

Shouts from the nearby Gryffindor table could be heard. "Meredith! Meredith's missing!" 

"Oh my god! You're right! She's not here!" 

"Hermione's missing too!" 

"And Lavender!" 

"And Padma!" Megan sighed and shook her head. 

"Pathetic aren't they?" she asked her companion to her left. She had black hair, with a bottom layer colored bright red. She stood up nodding at Megan's remark.

"Yes they are."

"You'd think the would have realized by now- Jenni! Where ya goin?" Megan asked as the girl started to walk away. "Jenni! I was talking to you! Jenni- Oh forget it. I might as well go along…" And Megan began to skip, humming a song she had written called "Wake Up Hermione"… ((A/N: Jenni, I do that all too often at school…))

Back at the Gryffie's Table…

The boys were so busy frantically looking around the Great Hall for signs of the missing girls; they didn't notice Jenni sit in one of the empty seats. "Maybe their invisible!" Harry cried gleefully.

"Maybe their hiding under the table," Dean suggested before sticking his head under the table. "Nope, not there."

"Maybe they're hiding in Snape's pocket!" Colin cried woefully. Everyone looked at him oddly, making Colin blush. "Er… I mean, maybe they were turned into food?"

"Or maybe," Jenni began in a Malfoy-like manor, "They just aren't here." All the boys turned towards the voice and found a pair of brownish-green eyes glaring annoyingly at them.

"Oh my gosh! What if she's right!" Ron gasped covering his mouth with his hand. "What if they were kidnapped!"

"Oh them Gryffs are SO quick, they make moaning myrtle flushing down the u-bend looks slow…" Jenni muttered to herself as the guys kept guessing at what happened to the girls.

"What if they got eaten by a bench!" Fred cried voice full of anguish.

"What if they got eaten by Megan!" George voiced fearfully. Unfortunately, Megan was standing right behind him and whacked him upside the head.

"I did NOT eat them! Nor did I eat the bench from the boy's locker room! So stop accusing me!!" Ron jumped up and pointed an accusing finger at Megan.

"You set your rapid pet spoon on them didn't you? DIDN'T YOU!" he demanded.

"So _that's_ how you got rid of our bench!" George cried.

"WOODWORM!" Jenni randomly exclaimed, pointing a finger at Megan, after George's comment.

"What are you talking about?" Megan asked, looking at him strangely.

"You know what I'm talking about."

"No, I don't." then, a boy with dirty blonde hair, glassed and green eyes jumped out of a picture frame behind the Gryffindor table and landed on top of Seamus.

"That's my boyfriend, bitch! Get off him!" Dean squealed angrily, about to hit the blonde boy.

"Don't believe her!" the sandy blonde cried getting off Seamus, "She lies! I have seen this pet spoon of hers! She brought it to the meetings!"

"Gasp!!!! Was is silver?" Jenni asked in complete rapture. Joel nodded.

"Yes."

"Oohhh..." her eyes slid out of focus, "silver... shiny.. niiiccee." Ron paled.

"Meetings?! Are you two Death-Eaters or something?!?" Ron demanded of Megan and the blonde. Someone on the other side of the room from the Hufflepuff table screamed.

"DEATH EATERS!!! RUUUUUUN!!!!" Everyone at the Hufflepuff table ran for it, as well as a bunch of Ravenclaws.

"Oooo! Maybe my daddy's come along!" Pansy squealed at the Slytherin table. Well I think we know whose family works for the Dark Lord…

"NO WE ARE NOT DEATH EATERS! AND FOR THE LAST TIME I DO NOT OWN A BLOODY EVIL, RABID, SPOON!!!" Megan cried waving her arms frantically, making it look like she was attempting to fly. 

"I never said it was evil! That proves you have one!" Ron accused. Megan cried in frustration.

"Look what you've done Jo-!" she screamed as the boy with glasses and blonde hair covered her mouth before she could finish his. 

"Don't say it Meg, they'll find me!" She pulled his hand off her mouth and yelled his name REEEEEALLY loudly.

"JOhhhhhhhhEL!" 

About 2 Minutes Before in the Hermione's Dorm Room…

"So…" Levender began, pausing dramatically,"fact or crap?" Hermione slapped her card down onto the bed just seconds before Ginny did. "Oooo, 'Mione beat ya to it Gin."

"Don't call me that," they both said simultaneously. Lavender grinned.

"So, HERmione, fact or crap?" Hermione flipped over her card.

"Crap," she said confidently, her card reading the word she just declared. Draco turned over is card, which read 'fact'. Draco has this strategy for this game where he just throws any ol' card down, because there's a 50% chance he'll be right. Ginny's card also read fact. Padma and some girl next to her had their 'crap' cards face up, while Sarah and Meredith had their 'fact' cards face up. Lavender smiled deviously.

"Fact, peladophia IS the fear of bald men."

"What the- That's bullshit! That's- crap! That is crap," she repeated the last part laughing. Suddenly Draco's head shot up as her heard a scream. "Did you hear that?" Lavender was looking around the room, searching for the source of the noise.

"Yeah, it sounded like someone was screaming," she agreed.

"Maybe Filch was finally allowed to use those torture devices he has in the dungeons as punishment," Padma guessed.

"Maybe it's just Ron and Harry making passionate love," Sarah said shrugging. Draco raised his eyebrow questioningly.

"Maybe that sounded like a girl," Draco pointed out. Sarah did a half shrug deal.

"So then maybe it was some girl walking in on their passionate love-making." ("So when did The-Boy-Who-Lived turn into The-Boy-Who-Shags-Other-Boys? I'll have to inquire about that…") But before Draco could ask anything, some random Gryffindor spoke up.

"Maybe Malfoy just came back and was hitting on Harry!" Ginny fumed.

"He better not be! I'll kill that bastard if he fucks with Ron's boyfriend!" she threatened.

"Draco does most certainly NOT fly that side of the quidditch pi-iiiiitchhhh, wait did you just say 'Ron's boyfriend'?" ("Oh God… It is true… I was hoping it was just my perverted mind jumping to conclusions… I think I'm gonna be sick…") Draco paled at this startling revelation.

"Or maybe it McGonagal and Dumbledore making passionate love!" was the explanation of a girl named Miranda. Draco paled even further. ("Oh God, now I KNOW I'm gonna be sick…") Draco put a hand to his mouth and tried to keep from throwing up.

"Ewwwww! That's just WRONG! You are such a pervert!" the girl next to her cried, obviously trying to rid her kind of the terrible mental pictures, as was Draco. 

"No, it sounded like the person was saying 'Joe' or something…" Draco mused after he had rid the disturbing picture from his head.

"Then maybe some girl was making passionate love with Joel!" Miranda beamed.

"WHAT THE HELL IS WITH YOU AND PASSIONATE LOVE-MAKING, DAMMIT!" Miranda's eyes narrowed.

"It's great fun, maybe _you_ should try it sometime prude." Draco glared and was about to scream some choice phrases when someone interrupted.

"Maybe it was Megan," Hermione stated, rather than suggested.

"Oh, and how would you know this?" demanded Lavender, cocking an eyebrow suggestively.

"Because," she began laughing slightly at what Lavender was implying, "first of all, I've lived next door to her forever and have heard enough of her yelling to identify her voice anywhere, second of all, Megan has a friend named Joel who escaped from the mental hospital."

"Then why would she yell his name when men in white coats are after him? Wouldn't that just be turning him in?" Miranda challenged.

"Yeah. You're point?"

"Why would she do that, if he were really her friend?"

"It's her time of the month, he probably pissed her off or something trivial like that."

"So, that's not a very good reason to turn your friend in. Why would she do that?"

"Because he's part of the reason she was in the mental hospital."

"Only part of the reason, 'ey?" Hermione nodded. "Well, what's the other part then?"

"The other escapee those men are after; Kat."

"The same Kat that tried to kiss me?" Draco asked wearily.

"The same Kat that Megan claimed was her neighbor when I asked how she knew her?" Meredith asked raising an eyebrow. "She's wanted by the mental hospital? I never would have guessed. Would you all excuse while I go-" Meredith began heading towards the door, but another girl stood in front of it.

"If you want to leave this room," she began, "you'll have to kiss me first."

"Ewwww… Nechama please move," Meredith said annoyed at Nechama's joking.

"I'm not gonna to let 'chew be the reason Kat is back in the hospital. She hated it there."

"Yeah, only cuz there were no sexy girls to hit on," Meredith mumbled.

"No! She just hated being alone… being in isolation…" Meredith glared at her. "I suppose no girls there _would_ fall into that category, huh?" she asked sheepishly.

"Yes. It would."

Back in the Great Hall…

Joel glared at Megan. "I am going to _kill_ you," he said flatly.

"THEY'll get you first!" she said happily.

"Then I'll tell THEM you're here too."

"You do that Joel. They've let me leave for the time being."

"Damn."

"Who's THEM?" asked Harry just as the door to the Great Hall burst open and mediwizards in white jackets came in.

"Them," explained Megan. 

"Oh crap. I'll get you Megan!" Joel exclaimed before running away. Kat, who to be crawling over to the Gryffindor table to try to look up Jenni's skirt screamed and ran behind Megan.

"Don't let them take me away Meggie!" she cried. Megan sighed.

"You too?" Kat nodded. "Get in there," she commended throwing her into the painting Joel had jumped out of there, "and pretend you're a portrait!" The mediwizards, who had been scanning the room for Joel, finally found him.

"There he is!" one of the mediwizards called to the other and they all ran after him.

"DAMMIT MEGAN! AND I NEVER GOT TO ASK WHAT-" Joel's words faded and the end of his sentence was never heard. Jenni rolled her eyes.

"One could conclude that one ((Megan)) has become friends with some of the strangest people. One now realizes how sane one ((Megan)) is compared to one's ones ((friends)). One has also developed a large craving for Jaffa Cakes. One shall go demand them of the ones ((house elves))," one, err, I mean Jenni said to herself, as one, Jenni, Jenni!, thought no one, hee hee, you can't get me for that, was listening. But one, she! I said she! pay more attention! jeeze…, Megan was.

"One does agree with one ((you)) on the one's sanity part," Megan told her trying to follow Jenni's way of talking, "One has never tried one, Jaffa Cakes, one does mean. One does feels us ones should visit the Gryffindor One's ((Girl's)) Dormitories to check on one ((Hermione)) and the, uh, other one ((Ryo))!" Megan paused for a moment. "One feels too many ones are confusing."

"One thinks one is just always confused."

"True, but still one feels it is confusing," Megan paused again before adding, "One also has a strange urge to speak in old English."

"The olde englishe?"

"Yes," she laughed, "thou doust knowest the language?"

"Uh, yes. The thy ye olde .. uh.. things... and um.. wee woo waa.. baabaa laa ?" Megan laughed at her.

"That was great Jenni."

"Yes, I know. Now f you'll excuse me, I think this Gryffindor stupidity is rubbing off on me…"

"No, you were always like that," George smirked. Jenni raised an eyebrow at him.

"No smirking. Never smirk again, you look downright nutters when you do that. But in all actuality, I'm gunna go ask Meredith what she did to Ron this morning that made him scream so, WITHOUT feeding Fred-fish."

"WHAT???? You're not gonna feed your fish????" Joel demanded. Jenni cocked her eyebrow again, this time at Joel.

"He'll live! Anyway, if he doesn't live, he'll die!"

"Where'd you come from? And how did you lose those mediwizards?"

"I didn't; they're still after me me."

"Wait, you have a fish?" asked Megan. Jenni nodded.

"I had loads of goldfish. They died. Well… Ron-fish murdered Sevvie- and Draco-fish…"

"You had a fish named after Snape??" Fred asked in disbelief.

"Yay! I killed Malfoy and Snape!" Ron cheered before beginning his Victory Dance, which is a very scary dance, kind of similar to my Hole in One Dance, which is a dance you can only hope you never live to see.

"Then when I got Fred- 'n' George-fish," Jenni continued, "Ron-fish committed fishiside!" Ron stopped dancing abruptly.

"Damn," he cursed before sitting back down.

"The George-fish got all upset and committed fishiside. So know I'm left with Fred-fish." 

"What, no Harry-fish?" Joel asked.

"Pah… Which means not yet. So Joel, now you know, so you might wanna start running again."

"Good point."

"THERE HE IS! GET HIM!" a mediwizard yelled.

"Damn! Gotta go," he nodded to Megan before running off.

"Bai Joel. And remember, CHIBI!!!!" she called after him

"CHIBI!!!!!!!!!!!" he yelled back before running out of the Great Hall. She looked up at everyone staring at her.

"Don't ask." Everyone shrugged and went back to their lunch.

______________________

A/N: Wooo! My longest chapter ever! About 11 and a half pages with out my author's notes! Okay, so to sum up when the chapter is up today instead of in two weeks… (this is copied and pasted from the letter I wrote to my God father before working on this chapter)

You see, every year my church participates in the "30 Hour Famine" to get a taste of what it really feels like to be hungry and the participants try to get sponsors to donate money for the African town their supporting by fasting for the 30 hours. Usually during those 30 hours, we have a lock in at church and do service projects and have devotionals to build our faith and help our community while we help those abroad as well. However, this year I am the only participant so I was told the lock in was canceled, since Lisa, our new youth leader, and I both agree that lock ins aren't fun when there aren't at least two teenagers there.

So, I needed something to occupy me for 30 hours to take my mind off food. This was only 2 pages and a sentence when I started working on it yesterday, and I didn't write for all that long either. So 10 pages in like 5 hours? Eh, that's not that bad, huh.

*accepts a freakishly, large golden spork from SolarCloud* Oh my god, I don't know what to say! *in an overly dramatic voice, looking (and sounding) like she's about to cry* It is such an honor to be given a Golden Spork Award. There are so many people I'd like to thank! All my reviewers, for reading this far; my insanity, for allowing me to write this; Joel, for always pushing my sanity to the brink and for always copying off me in Health and for being the corrupted guy he is; I'd like to thank Jenni, for talking to me while a majority of this was written and teaching me some British slang **and acting as my BETA this chapter!**; 'Manda, for talking with me and coming up with Miranda's name; my mom, for being herself and coming up with some of the funniest ideas; my sisters Ashley and Nicole, for letting me be on the computer all day; J.K. Rowling, for coming up with such a great book series; and J.K. again, for creating Hermione and Draco because without them, this story would not be possible. But most of all, I'd like to thank all of those who read this acceptance speech. Whoever mentions this in their review gets an extra special pic of the HP character of the choice, drawn by me!

****

I am very disappointed in you all. I can't believe none of you realized the irony when Ginny told Hermione, "Why it's all elementary Watson." Watson is Sherlock's side kick, but it's also the last name of the actress that plays Hermione, ya know, Emma Watson? *throws up hands in the air and makes a " 't uuuuggggh!" sound* You all sadden me.

Remember to REVIEW!!!


	13. So Kiss Me

A/N: Warning: More internal monologue on the narrator's part. If you don't like that, too bad!, 'cuz I happen to like my commentary. SO there. *sticks her tongue out* The first half of this was started in… July. *ducks as things are thrown at her* Don't kill me! Then I can't write anymore! And I can't hide in my teacup anymore cuz someone broke it! *looks pointedly at a certain guardian of dragons*

This Chapter is dedicated to Meredith, because she held me to my promise to update after February 1st. So you can all thank her for this chapter. Mere- why in hell were you reading my profile anyway?? O_o?

So Kiss Me

After lunch, everyone went to the lake. 'Why?' you ask, good question… "So why exactly are we at the lake again?" Draco asked.

"I'm gunna swim laps," Megan answered simply.

"Oh. But you do realize there's a giant squid in there right?"

"Yeah, so? What's your point?"

"Well, I, er- nevermind."

And the rest of the afternoon flew by, the Gryffindors talked and laughed, and Draco, for a once in all his years at Hogwarts, actually enjoyed being in their presence. They were all so warm and caring towards each other, unlike his "friends" in Slytherin. He sighed, closed his eyes and laid down on the grass, soaking up the sun's inviting rays. _Trapped in a daydream…_

He couldn't have closed his eyes for more than 15 minutes when he felt soft hands gently shake his body and a calming voice gently call his name, and he knew that voice all too well. "Hermione?" He asked tiredly opening his eyes, finding that the sun was now setting on the horizon. She smiled and nodded.

"It's just about for you to change that pad of yours, if you don't- well, rather unpleasant consequences shall follow."

"Hermione! Not so loud! Someone might-" it was just then he realized no one else was there, it was just him and Hermione. Draco sat up and took a good look at her. The light caught on her hair in a way Draco had never seen before. He noticed a faint blush creeping on her cheeks, no it had to be the lighting, it just _had _ to be. "Her… mione…" He began softly. Hermione leaned over, closing the gap between their faces.

"Ryo…" She then gently pressed her lips to his. He felt himself blush. He pushed away.

"Hermione… You don't understand…"

"I wonder what he's daydreaming about," Megan wondered aloud, looking over at Draco, "He's been mumbling in his sleep.

"Hermione… You don't understand…" Draco muttered. Then there was a deafening screech, and Draco awoke with a start, sitting upright, "What the hell!" 

Hermione looked over to Draco and mumbled, "Finite Incantarum," and the frightening screech stopped. "Ryo, perhaps you should come with me-"

"But- Hermione, there's something you should know first-" He stuttered. _ Trapped in a daydream… _

She took his hand and pulled him into a standing position. "Just come on, there's something we need to do."

"Herm…mione…" Megan looked to Meredith then to Hermione and Draco. She caught Hermione's eyes and nodded, then jerking her head towards Meredith, who apparently understood the confusing code, for she too nodded and rose to her feet. The rest of the girls apparently caught the gist of the message and went back to what they were doing, many of the guys, just flat out clueless returned to their previous engagements. Only Harry and Ron seemed to maintain their focus on Hermione, who shot Harry a look, which he must have understood, for he proclaimed:

"Ah… I see, very well then, hop to it," He said smiling a bit. Ron just remained confused, but Hermione left Harry to explain it all as she, Megan, and Meredith all walked towards the castle, Draco being dragged along as well. 

"That was a clever trick Hermione, good way to remind everyone all at once," Megan laughed.

"Well, if I were keeping track of the time, this never would have happened… I really just cast the spell so Ryo or myself just couldn't think 'Eh, what's another few minutes gonna do?' because those minutes always turn into hours, ya know?" Hermione asked. Meredith nodded.

"Too true, too true," Meredith then turned to Draco, "So, Ryo, did you know about the spell Hermione cast on the pad of yours?" Draco shook his head.

"I imagine it had something to do with the screech though… wait…" He began to remember what Hermione had said when she first gave him the pad… _"Thanks." He grabbed his underwear that Hermione had floated over. "Uh, Hermione… What's this?" Draco asked examining it._

"It's a pad, it's meant to absorb the blood. It's bewitched so that you'll be able to know when to change pads." "Hermione said she would make it so I would know when to change it." Hermione laughed blushing slightly.

"I must have gone brain dead when casting the spell, because that was most definitely not the spell I meant to cast, sorry Ryo." 

"Er… Don't worry about it?" Draco's attempted reassurance was tainted with doubt, for he does not everyday forgive people; it is simply not in his job description. The girls, and Draco, finally arrived at the door girl's toilets. (Now, note they don't go in quite yet, this following conversation is held in the middle of the hall… Baka onna…)

"Alright, here you go Ryo," she handed him a small green package.

"Oooooooooo! Hermione Always has excellent protection!" Meredith laughed.

"Always use Always ladies, no one else has their superior four wall protection!" Hermione preached mockingly.

"Don't forget those flexiwings!" Megan chirped joyfully, enjoying the joke immensely, "However, I personally prefer the green box over the blue."

"Oooooooooooooooo, with that "Highly Absorbent" Gel-Core?"

"You bet! Those babies work wonders… Well, if you ignore the fact they feel like diapers."

"But you have to admit, the Gel-Core pads feel a lot less like diapers," Meredith pointed out.

"True."

"I'll take Tampax. over Always anyday," A mysteriiiiious voice said creepily. …Alright, so the voice wasn't mysterious or creepy, but listening to the girls rattle off facts from was starting to get annoying. Besides, Draco isn't used to this next girl's voice yet, so it COULD be mysterious… Alright, alright, I'll stop, just trying to get away from the pad discussion.

"So, you're a tampon girl, huh Shauna?- I mean, Professor Ozark," Hermione corrected herself. "I personally prefer o.b. tampons." The other girls nodded in agreement. ALRIGHT! I'm sure half of you are like- 'too much information!!', I mean, I'm starting to think that, I'm documenting this crazy adventure!

"As much as I'd love to partake in this engaging discussion on feminine menstrual products, I'm not quite sure the rest of your audience can take the excitement," Alex, the blonde-haired first year who is a striking resemblance of Draco, said in a sarcastic, bored tone. ALEX! Praise the Lord for Alex! He saved us from the disturbing death by pads and tampons! I do hope you all remembered him, I mean, he just saved your ass and all.

Hermione, Meredith, Megan, Ryo, and Shauna (AKA Prof. Ozark) turned to Alex. "Audience?" Draco mumbled timidly, the conversation was embarrassing enough WITHOUT the thought others watching and listening in. Alex motioned to the hallway portraits, who were indeed acting as an audience, staring at them, looking mildly amused at Draco's flushed face.

"You're lucky it was only me walking down the hall, or perhaps you would have faced greater embarrassment, baka onna Ryo," He almost hissed.

"Don't call her stupid Alex! Do it again and I'll hex you, and you know I will, Alex! You know I will!" Megan threatened.

"Oh not you too Meggie, you are hideously bitchier than usual when your menstrual cycle decides it's time to be cleaned out. If you're PMSing, though that isn't an accurate term when is going THROUGH the menstrual period of the month, I shall be leaving, meet me in the usual place after dinner."

"We have a usual place already? We've been here, like, what, 2 days? But alright, will do. And if you see Kevin, give him this for me," She instructed kissing Alex on the cheek. Alex raised his eyebrow at her.

"Like hell I would do that sober- oh crap, you bewitched me didn't you?" Megan smiled a smile of pure evil.

"Wouldn't you like to know."

"You better PRAY no one is around when I see him, or I'll-"

"Or you'll what? This whole incident is to teach you not to mess with a PMSing women, for we are pure evil to begin with-"

"You can say that again."

"So therefore, we can only be more creative with our evilness during our special week." She grinned a grin even more evil than Satan himself.

"Now I know why men become gay, so they don't have to deal with you women," and with that Alex bowed and walked past the group.

"You're lucky I didn't kiss you on the lips dear Alexander the Conqueror! And be sure to wear your codpiece dearie, or you'll scare the little girlies! And REIGN over all the land, my feminine Emperor of the World!" Alex stopped, and you could see his shoulders shaking, Draco peeked out from behind Hermione, whom he had taken refuge behind, and was sure his shoulders were shaking in anger. Alex turned around, a genuine smile on his face, his eyes sparkling with laughter.

"Oh, but I think our dear Alexander the Great should wear more than just his codpiece, for he most certainly scares them with that Speedo-Thong-Type-Thingy!" He barely managed to get out between his laughter, "Reign should be rated X for scariness, I mean between Alexander's codpiece, to his pencil arms and legs, to his girly looks, I'm surprised anyone could watch it without being or blinded or losing their minds!"

"That must be why they can take it."

"Why?"

"They lost their minds."

"Damn Cartoon Network, should have just stuck to the [adultswim] line up they already had… Though, I'll give them Lupin III is a good show and should be on all week."

"Was it worth losing Bebop?"

"Of course not. I'll be going now, to reminisce about Faye's beauty…" Megan rolled her eyes. Draco shifted his weight, and almost panicked.

"Er, somebody, I'm beginning to feel… uncomfortable…" He explained definitely not liking the way his under garments were beginning to feel.

"CRAP! This is why I set the spell in the first place! To prevent the delays that cause the leaks!" Hermione looked about ready to jump off the astronomy tower. "Damn, damn, damn."

"I knew there was a reason I didn't like Slytherins," Meredith boasted happily, having been smart and used the bathroom to change while Megan and Alex talked, and Hermione and Draco just took it all in. 

"Come on Ryo, let's go get you cleaned up," she said pulling Draco into the girls toilets. Draco went into his own stall and slid his underwear down his legs and his stomach felt as if it had jumped off Big Ben. 

"Crap," He mumbled.

"Here you go," Hermione said slipping her hand through the gap in the stalls near the floor, donning something pink, "I always carry an extra pair in my purse during my period." It was then Draco realized _what_ Hermione handed him, his heart beating faster. "Those are my 'Pretty Pink Panties,' or at least I _think_ that's what Ginny named 'em, she was helping me pack and decided to name my underwear." Draco swallowed hard.

"You named your underwear?" he asked in disbelief.

"Technically Ginny did, but yes, they do have names. I'm wearing my 'Spiffy Stared Underwear' now. I'll show you later." Draco almost got a nosebleed at that last statement. Draco pulled the pad off of his now soiled underwear and threw it in the small garbage can he found conveniently besides the toilet.

"Errr… Hermione…"

"Yes?"

"What should I do with my bloody underwear?" he asked as he slid them of his legs. A flushing noise came from the stall Hermione was in. Draco saw her feet leave and walk towards the sinks. He sat there with the underwear in hand as Hermione washed her hands, he was afraid she didn't hear him. "Hermione?" he asked a little louder. The water stopped and Draco heard Hermione pull paper towels from the dispenser. He heard her move again. "Hermione?" he asked more desperately, worrying she'd leave him there. He saw her feet stop in front of his stall.

"I'm still here," she sounded amused. She squatted down and slid her hand under the door, brandishing a few paper towels. "Wrap your undies in here for now," she instructed and Draco took the paper from her. "Now you can set it down and finish up. We'll have to rinse those when you're done though." Draco did as he told, wrapping the sullied garment before placing it onto the floor. Hermione stood back up and walked away from the stall, she didn't leave the room though, for Draco never heard the door open. Draco stuck his feet through the holes of the undergarment and unwrapped the pad, sticking it in place.

When Draco emerged from the bathroom stall, he found Hermione seated atop a make-up counter that was positioned alongside the row of sinks. Draco walked over to the sinks, awkwardly carrying the paper towel ball that was his underwear. Hermione smiled to him. "Alright, drop those undies into the sink and turn on the cold water," her instruction was met with on odd look from Draco. She laughed slightly, swinging her dangling feet. "Don't look at me like that, we've got to at least attempt to get _some_ of the blood out. I'm sure the house elves would freak if your blood seeped through and stained everyone else's clothing." Draco turned the water on and unwraped the package he held in his hand. He tossed the paper into the garbage and held his underwear under the water. He was surprised to see a majority of the blood wash out right away. "Get some soap on your hands and try to scrub the rest of the blood off. Hopefully there won't be much of a stain." Draco followed her instrustions and managed to reduce the stain to a light discoloration. 

"Are you bewitching the pad again?" he inquired as he rewrapped the garment in another paper towel. 

"No, you should be able to tell when you need to change it. Judging by the rate of your flow, I'd say every two to three hours. I'll remind you though, if you'd like," she offered hopping down from the counter.

"I don't have pads," Draco pointed out.

"Owl home and ask your mum to send you some. In the mean time, you can use mine." Draco didn't like the prospect of having to ask his parents for such items- he was quite certain no party expected such realistic results as a by product of becoming a girl. Yeah they had to give him boobs, he needed to look authentic after all. And yeah they had to eliminate his manhood for a while- it could prove to be an issue living surrounded by women for an undetermined amout of time, and you know what I mean by "issue"… *snicker* But getting his very own 'time of the month'? He assure himself that was NOT part of the plan. Draco's discomfort with this proposition must have been apparent, for Hermione added, "They sell feminine products in Hogsmade. I believe we have a trip there next weekend. You can use my stuff this time around and pay me back then." Draco could have kissed her. He didn't. He did hug her though. 

"THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" he squealed. Hermione laughed.

"No problem." 

Draco suddenly realized his action and pulled away abruptly. 'Damn it. Being a woman must have some psychological effect on my brain. I'm starting to act like one of them…*shudder* Being a woman sucks…'

________________________________________________________________________

A/N: Amen to that Draco.

Yeah, so the first half of this chapter was written WAY back in July, and I just never got around to finishing it. (I was in Kansas for a majority of the summer.) I can't belive it's been almost a year since I last updated. I am soooooooooooooo sorry everyone!!!!!!!!! I also can't believe how many of you kept reviewing despite that fact (Wooo to Shania Maxwell who reviewed Jan. 31st, 2004!) I got quite a few flames (EEK!) but, hey, you can't please everyone, right? Oh, and if Draco seemed unusually whimpy in this chapter, and any future chapters, it's all Hisoka's fault. Blame him for being an uber uke. (He's from Yami no Matsuei AKA Descendants of Darkness, I highly recommend the series if guy/guy relationships don't bother you.)

Person who complained of OOC-nss- Well duh. Draco's a girl. That alone should be enough to imply OOC-ness will be pressent.

Explaination of that last half concerning the soiled panties, I have my period (Readers: AH! Didn't need to know that!) and just ruined yet another pair of panties. I figured I should make Draco suffer as well, but in the end decided to let him off with a barely visable stain. I'm too nice.

On a side note, I will from this point on be updating OBH the weekend after my period. *(Reader: AH! Again, we didn't need to know that!) Yeah, well, I figure this way I can write the chapters with the pains of being a woman fresh in my mind. I can't promise I'll stick to this schedule piously though… Any how. Again I apologize for the delay with this chapter. I plan to pick up the pace of the fic in the next few chapters (I mean we're still on, what, their first full day at Hogwarts??) because I have the plot all figured out, but keep getting sidetracked and losing sight of it. That's why I stopped with this fic for a while. I'll also be writing two other fics simultaneously, so inconsistencies are bound to happen, and you'lll have to bear with me. (was that even the right 'bear' to use??) One is Boundless Love, which can be found on this site (a Yami no Matsuei fic) and the other is Don't Leave Your Windows Open! Someone Could Be Watching! ( a Gravitation fic), which is posted on MediaMiner.Org due to the fact lemon content is forbidden on this site. (Yeah I write lemons. *theateningly* Got a problem with that?) 

….I really need a blog…

….And a BETA…

__


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